Running scared

Not me, the horses:

Had to start with this, because I found it hilarious (and sad at the same time, the poor horse was terrified, and running on the road. Traffic had stopped because it was obviously dangerous to continue, which scared the horse more).

I heard on the radio last week a few times about how the Town of Hinton has people whose job is to round up stray horses in and around Hinton. I thought it was kind of funny at first, that there would be so many stray horses that they have people who just go looking for horses.

BUT, considering it's the heavy snowfall breaking fences, and then the horses get loose near highways, and are terrified, it's really not so funny. They said on the radio that 64 horses were caught last year. They hold them for a certain amount of time, and if no one claims them, or if they don't have any ID on them, they go to Auction. (We were joking about trying to find a wallet on a horse, but that went horribly wrong!)

This particular horse was running free in Hinton, in town, and looked sooo scared. S/he went up to the person holding a bucket with some sort of food in it, but when traffic started to crawl again, the horse got freaked out again and backed away. (They were in a field, not too close to the road, but I am assuming it was just That Freaked Out. Poor guy/girl.)

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Re: Comments on last post... (using a format of replying 'stolen' from Chair...)

@Chair: It has literally been so easy, I feel super grateful! Don't get me wrong, I've gone through a fair share of stress about the wedding, and I know as it gets closer, I will most likely be freaking out, but so far, it has been sooooo easy, and very enjoyable, which makes it that much better!

(And I am thanking the universe everyday!)

@Monarch: Yeah, I've gotten some of the wedding shit together, and am trying this weekend to get the house's shit together! (It's a bit of a sty... nothing gross, just papers, receipts, wrapping paper, etc, all over the place!) As of today... I have 8 months to get my freak on! (And towards the end, I expect to be freaking!) Tomorrow, or even tonight if the house is ready... Chris and I will be putting up our seasonal decorations... (I know, I know, we're usually done by mid-November, but I was trying really hard to respect the fact that one of my friends HATES Christmas decor before his birthday on the 23rd of Nov. I also know it’s our choice, but after living with him for so long, now it just feels wrong to start decorating before the 24th. Chris might be able to change that, although I will still refuse to set up the tree before MY birthday. In August. (Yes, Chris asked to set it up in July.)

Ooh… ‘sumtin, sumtin’ sounds nice! I can’t wait… Thanks!
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I finally brought the recycling back today... Wow, there was a lot. And speaking of recycling! The Town of Hinton has heard the plea of it's residents! ("We want to be able to recycle more stuff locally!") In addition to the regular cardboard/office paper/mixed paper/milk jugs/cartons and plastic containers with a mouth that is smaller than it's base, we can now recycle clear glass, aluminum/tin cans, plastic bags (which I try to not use anyway), and old electronics (hint hint Chris!) They also have a really nice lady whose job is to make sure people are informed, and putting the right things in the right bins! Also, she's very helpful with the "where do I put cardboard that isn't corrugated cardboard?"

We still can't recycle 'other' plastics, like all the other crap that has the #'s on it... Like (embarrassed...) Tim Horton’s cup lids... slurpee cups... etc. Good thing I am giving up Tim's. While I was still going to TH, I was trying to bring my travel mug; I was just equally good at forgetting it by the sink after I rinsed it out as I was at remembering to bring it.

Oh well, I will just have to continue to pawn off the ‘other’ plastics on my family from Cold Lake when they come to visit, or remember to bring it there when I go to visit! I should check and see if Edson takes plastic… Chris could bring it before work! Or after…
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Speaking of Edson… while the roads haven’t been too bad, I am still really nervous about Chris driving to and from work. And, while he doesn’t outright say it, I think it really bothers him, too. He says he doesn’t like driving when he’s tired, but I think it’s the whole thing. (And when he tells people about all of this, he says that we will be moving to Edson because I worry. Blames it all on me! I don’t mind, because it is mostly true.)

There’s also the fact that when Chris is working the yard job and he’s got 3 hours in between things to do, he has very little to do, and gets VERY. BORED. Which is why he has a PSP again (Chris bought it a few years ago, sold it to Willy, and just bought it back…).

What I am sort of kind of trying to say… we’re planning to move to Edson. At the latest (pending everything going good), we will be moving after the wedding. At the earliest, we might be moving in the spring.

Good things:
-Chris closer to work, safer, less overall driving time, more time with Blaine!
-When we go to Edmonton/Cold Lake/anywhere East, we’ll be about an hour closer!
-We will most likely be owning our own house, and depending on how it works out with Chris’s work, we might be able to start a family in 2009… :D (Big freakin’ grin!)

Bad things:
-Further away from the mountains.
-Further from Jasper. (BUT, we will appreciate the views, and our visits much more, not living quite so close.)
-Have to change doctors again. I really liked the one I had in Cold Lake, really like the one I have here in Hinton… I guess I could probably make the trip to Hinton if I really can’t find one I like in Edson… For awhile. Definitely not forever.

I think the good makes it worth the bad.
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It's barely warmed up past -15 (-20 with wind chill) here, and while that's not too bad for Canadian Winters, Marley would beg to differ. When we take her out, if we don't have something on her feet, she starts limping within about a minute. Mom guessed she may have had frostbite sometime in her past, which would make her paws incredibly sensitive to the cold. (We got her last January, but it was a lot warmer out, still... and I made her some booties right away...)

We went to the pet store, and bought these awesome little boties, much more durable than the ones I made, with rubber soles for better traction, and a little zipper and velcro strap to try to keep them on. The only problem with them (besides Marley HATED them) was that to get some that her Polar Bear paws would fit in, they were too thick for her legs. We couldn't get them to stay on where they were supposed to, so they slipped half off, and she was walking on the backs of them, looking at me like "This is torture, and humiliating!" while she was trying to get picked up, NOW!

So we brought them back, and the booties I made last year are, so far, working. We only lost one bootie, twice, and found it again the next morning.

I think she knows when I am writing about her, because she's looking at me like she does when we talk about her. Kind of weird.

She's been a bit of a suck again lately...

She's not fond of change, and we're getting the decorations out, the wrapping paper...

Just more stuff to scare her!

:)

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DECEMBER BEAN WATCH STILL ONGOING!!!

I have the list of who guessed boy/girl/date/time/year... etc... And am waiting to hear more from the Bean-bearer! (or whoever is designated to make the phone calls to everyone...)

:D Blaine

Getting there...

Wedding update:
 
Got the commissioner. Got the location and reception places booked, and rooms blocked. (Need to send out the information soonish I guess, too... add that to my to-do list...)
 
Got the photographer! Yay!
Got a dress... as mentioned in a previous post...
Still need to get a DJ, bridesmaid dresses, invitations... and some other stuff, too.
But for the most part, we're starting to be able to relax a bit...
 
YAY!!!
 

 
 
 

A little bit

 freaked out.
 
Went to the doctor today for a somewhat overdue check up and am going to the hospital tomorrow morning to get some blood work done.
 
Um... anybody who doesn't want to know too much about me should skip the next few paragraphs...
 
I have had irregular periods for awhile - few years now - and was even advised to talk to my doc about it from someone who has had similar symptoms and was diagnosed with something that I think (emailed to confirm) is the same thing.
 
So... Here's what my doc is testing for:
 
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
 
Symptoms include:
 

infrequent menstrual periods, no menstrual periods, and/or irregular bleeding   (Have) 

infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating  (Don't know)

increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes—a condition called hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um) (DON'T HAVE - that I know of...)

ovarian cysts (Don't know yet)

acne, oily skin, or dandruff (somewhat yes, yes and maybe a little bit)

weight gain or obesity, usually carrying extra weight around the waist (hmmm... Yeah, I got that...)

insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes (Don't know - being tested)

high cholesterol (Don't know - being tested I think)

high blood pressure (Normal)

male-pattern baldness or thinning hair (Not that I'm aware of...) 

patches of thickened and dark brown or black skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs (Ummm... no. Got some moles, tho. They look normal according to the doc.) 

skin tags, or tiny excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area (Yup. Started when I was a teenager... hmmm...) 

pelvic pain (YUP. randomly throughout the month, too. No pattern.)

anxiety or depression due to appearance and/or infertility (I've come to terms with how I look, I like everything except the extra weight, BUT I am not depressed about it. If I found out I was infertile, I'd be crying for weeks. That scares the crap out of me.) 

sleep apnea—excessive snoring and times when breathing stops while asleep (I'll have to ask Chris about this one. I don't think I snore, but the stopping breathing thing... I do that sometimes when I'm awake. Sort of. I think.)

 
After reviewing the above symptoms, my first thought is "F.U.C.K."
 
I know that until I hear from the doctor, worrying is absolutely useless. But I sure can't help it. This is why I avoided even going to the doctor way back in, uh, 2005... It's really ironic thinking. I'm scared I will be told I can't ever have kids, and yet, I postpone the trip to the person who may be able to fix it if it comes to that. All the while knowing that any type of problem like this that comes up is ALWAYS better when it's caught early.
 
Sometimes I do really stupid things.
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ANYWAY.
 
Onto better news.
 
Today I went to see The Guy From The Jasper Hotels We Are Looking At To Have The Wedding At. (Or TGFTJHWALATHTW for 'short'.)
 
Got some confirmation about the ceremony and reception locations... They're ours! Yay!
 
We haven't signed the contract, BUT I have a copy of the contract with me, to review, and we can fill it out/sign and fax or email it to him!
 
Yay!
 
So, we are a few steps closer...
 
I was complimented a few times today, and felt so good about them I wanted to post about them. Just 'cause I can.
 
My doctor (while discussing past history and medications and my lack of being on birth control pills) after I said that I've wanted to have kids for as long as I can remember, told me that I look like a mom. Then he back tracked a lot, and told me to not get upset. (!?!?! Apparently he's had a lot of people take offense to that comment, as he explained.) He said he wasn't sure how else to say it, then he sort of came up with it, and said that what he meant was that I seemed like the caring type.
 
Later on, I was told by TGFTJHWALATHTW that I was very organized, and 'on the ball'. He said that because I was so calm, and making sure the little things are worked out early made his job really easy. He said that meeting with me is a pleasure and that I am very easy to work with!
 
Maybe now, but when I'm stressed out the week before the wedding might be a different story.
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I've got a bunch of photos I need to go through and organize and upload, and some videos of Chris working that I'd like to upload, too.
 
:)

Craig & Gen's wedding HAKA MAORI finally uploaded!

OK, I know it's been over 2 months, and I apologize!
 
BUT, I think it was well worth the wait. I have uploaded pictures of the wedding here:
 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theanykey/sets/72157603024659817/
 
And, drum roll please... I finally figured out how to get into youtube (use a different email address!),
and as I know you've been waiting long enough:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YoDdrzmvNE
 
Again, I am sorry it took so long, I hope you all enjoy it!
 
Love, Blaine

 
 
 

Got pix posted... finally

Sorry about the late posting, C&G... and Mel.
 
I will have to figure out my youtube login to upload the Haka Maori... :)

Not making it to Cold Lake

Even with the new tires, I just can't get past the feeling in my gut saying to not go.
 
I will probably try again before Christmas.
 
Besides the $$$ factor, there's a million little things adding up that just make me uneasy. The risk of freezing rain for the beginning half and the last quarter of the trip to Cold Lake (and the likelihood that it will remain the same forecast for the return trip doesn't help) really scares me. Last year on a trip to Cold Lake, Chris was driving, I was trying to snooze, and out of nowhere, we hit a patch of black ice, and the car turned sideways. Literally. While we were going about 100 km/hr - I think, I wasn't exactly keeping track - which is slower than the speed limit.
 
It made me sit up super quick, and started to freak out. After we felt it might be safe to, I had Chris pull over and I broke down. It sucked. After that, I was terrified the whole trip.
 
So, all things considered, I decided it's safer to stay put, clean the house, get some long-awaited pictures uploaded (C+G), and some other stuff done.
 
While I'm not indulging in the craziness that is NoBloPoMo, I plan to post again this weekend because I'll have a lot to say! After I get some of the things done, I will have a lot to tell you. So check back later on.
 
:) Sorry I won't see you this weekend.
 


 

 
 
 

Just need bridesmaid dresses now...

Well... As some of you know, the dress shopping went very well. VERY WELL!

 

Steph found a dress in 3. Mine was 5th. But I left and then decided I had to go back, I wanted it, couldn't stop thinking about it!

 

It was a wonderful weekend, but I am still very glad to be home. The city is so loud, so busy... too many people. I'm not used to people. At all, anymore, really!

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Obviously, I won't be posting pictures of the dress shopping experience simply because of the potential fiance leak factor... Meaning that Chris or Todd might get their hands (eyes?) on them!

 

Maybe I will blur out everything but the faces, so I can at least show how happy we all were. And it was so much fun!

 

We went around picking out dresses and just put clips on the hangers, then got shown to our rooms and we met with our individual consultants. It was super fancy, but at the same time, very laid back and relaxing.

 

My consultant was named Julie, and was wonderful. She was knowledgeable, answered all of my questions, responded to all of my concerns thoughtfully and even suggested I try on styles I outright decided that I did not like, so that I know for sure. (This, of course is after she asked why I didn't want to try on any strapless gowns. I just assumed that a strapless would mean I'd be pulling up the gown all day/night long, and she explained how it would support, and how it should fit. She brought one over that she thought I might like, and I loved it, it was comfortable and glorious, but not right for me. I was still expecting to be too self conscious about my arms and that weird little 'pouch' that magically appears when you put on a strapless dress. And, pending my ability to lose weight/tone before the wedding, I didn't want to be disappointed/unhappy with how I look/feel on my wedding day.)

 

Either way, the dress I chose suits me perfectly, I think, and considering everyone else's reaction when I was stepped out of the change room…

 

Well, for a while it was between 2 dresses, until Mel pointed out (THANK YOU!) that the dress I chose only looked second because of the color difference. White made me look washed out, and it was white. Very white. So, I pictured the white dress in the colour of the other one, and couldn't stop thinking about it. So, after we dicided to think about it, I wanted to go back.

 

And now I can't stop thinking about it. I also have another problem. I share everything with Chris. It's killing me to hold back and not tell him every detail about the dress, show him pictures…

 

But he's said that he doesn't want to know, see or hear anything about it until The Day.

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It has been very, very windy around here lately, and it seems the planning of my workplace did not take that into consideration. I've been somewhat forced to walk from the office to the bays with my eyes closed.

 

Something else I re-discovered: a Strong gust of wind can blow your eyelashes around so that they tickle the tops of your eyes. It's kind of cool.

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Warning: Somewhat selfish sounding rant ahead.

 

After trying to keep our house somewhat reasonably clean, I am looking more and more forward to the days I get off. However, I am feeling stressed, because I know that if I spend all of this weekend cleaning, I won't have fully relaxed, and I can't count on next weekend to catch up on relaxing, because I will be driving 7 hours on Thursday (8^th) and another 7 hours on the 11^th, in time to go back to work.

 

The weekend after I have plans to travel to Edmonton to hang out with Jarrod for his birthday for the whole Saturday, even though his birthday isn't actually until the following Friday… I just figured I would leave him his actual birthday so he can go to Cold Lake, or whatever.

 

So it will most likely be at least 3 weeks before I can have a weekend to myself, at home, doing nothing. So I am afraid I've wasted all of last night, and all day today.

 

I have been afraid to start cleaning too much, lest I use up all of 'my' time and end up stressed all week.

 

Chris was supposed to be home tonight after the yard job, and he was going to refuse (it's complicated, but he would have been allowed to) to work on Sunday. So we could spend the day together.

 

At around 5 p.m. he called to tell me he was about to go out on a coal train, meaning he'd get home around 9 a.m. tomorrow.

 

Needless to say, I am a little disappointed, but he wasn't feeling well earlier this week and so he took time off, and I expect he's trying to make up the time on this trip (which will definitely do it). I just wanted to spend the weekend with him, and I know he thinks we still can, but with him getting home at 9 a.m. ish, it means he will be sleeping/exhausted tomorrow, and it would be hard for him to have a good day if he tries to stay awake when he should sleep.

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I have plans to upload a bunch of pictures, I've gotten them ready, I just need to sit down and upload them… So they will be uploaded within a reasonable timeframe.

 

J

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I've finally gotten into contact with the company that owns the bunch of hotels in Jasper that we've been looking at, and it looks like they have no bookings at all for the week we want to get married.

 

The representative said that the location we want for the ceremony is as good as ours, but that he might have some trouble getting the place we want for our reception, because they advertise it as the lounge for the hotel in the summer months. (I assume it's also the lounge in the winter.) I emailed back that I plan to reserve a block of rooms for all of my guests to reserve if they decide to, and so I hope that that will help sway their decision. If half (?) of the hotel is booked by our guests, there won't be as many complaints about the lounge's inaccessibility.

 

I hope to meet with them by the 15^th, and find out how much of a deposit we'll need to put down.

 

J J J J J J J J

 
 
 

Going Dress Shopping!

Wedding dress, that is!

Going to be a shopping with my Mom, Auntie Mel, and my (also engaged) cousin Steph! (Congratulations, again, by the way!)

I'm sending out tons of positive energy to the universe, asking for and thinking that the stores we go to will have some amazing dresses for reasonable prices, and plenty of happy smiling people who are pleasant and courteous. (Hint hint universe... C'mon, it's a bridal shop! Everyone should be smiling!)

I plan to leave here right after work on friday (meaning I have to pack and get ready tomorrow!), and come back Sunday morning. Got my fingers crossed for good weather, too!

I won't be bringing M (Marley) because I'm pretty sure she'd not be allowed at Steph and Todd and Willy's place. She'll probably be pissed at me for 'abandoning' her, but I don't really have a choice, and it's only two nights! (Ten to one says she leaves 'presents' in the house while Chris is at work - if he has to work while I'm gone.)
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I am feeling the time crunch factor. For everything. For wedding planning (seeing that I probably won't have a weekday off during which I can do wedding stuff until the end of November, I am stressing about the idea of meeting my self-set deadline of December 15th, for having the reception and ceremony sites booked. I'm also stressed, because I know that every day that goes by, I risk not being able to book the places I want! Gah! Then there's the issue of having to put down a huge deposit on the site(s) Right. Before. Christmas. (insert terrifying scream here). That's all for the wedding stuff for now.).

As for finding time to clean the house, fold towels, clean up after/take out Marley, take care of Marley's necessities (clipping her incredibly fast growing nails - which is an arduous task, at best, and brushing her easily matted fur that I refuse to clip* lest she freeze in the colder months that are creeping up behind my back), eat healthy meals, exercise (jumping to conclusions? nah, more like running after Chris asking him questions about the wedding!**)... yeah, I barely have time to cram dishes into the dishwasher, or do laundry that's necessary (muddy and soaked work clothes - mine, actually. Chris is relatively dry at work.) I can't wait to be a SAHM, I know there is tons to do and very little time to do it when you have kids, especially first time SAHMs. But I just can't stop thinking that we will find the time to do the things that need to get done (I'm a dreamer) and that I will be able to make healthier meals, not only dinner, but breakfasts, and pack good lunches for Chris so he doesn't have to 'pick something up on the way to work'.

**He's actually quite good with it all. At first, he didn't know what was supposed to happen when or where or why (why do we need a marriage commissioner? - seriously), but after a good dinner out that started out as a 'let's go for coffee so I can explain this to you' sort of thing, we're more on the same page.
I mostly needed to realize that Chris hasn't been dreaming about weddings his whole life, and that when he was at the weddings he has attended, he wasn't memorizing every little detail for future reference, later picturing himself in a dress walking down the aisle to the man of his dreams. That toolk a weird turn. Um. Anyway... And he needed to realize that 'do what you want***' was NOT a good answer, because (as I explained) it made me feel like he took no interest AT ALL in what was supposed to be one of the most important days of our lives. We just had to take the time to see how the other person saw it all and felt, and since then, it's been great!

***Don't get me wrong, it wasn't said it in a bad way, it was just that he didn't understand the importance to me of his being a part of the planning, the ideas, the nitty-gritty of it all. I'm not going to make him pick out flowers, but I do want his input on the more important things, like what color shoes I should wear. Just kidding. But I plan on asking just about everytime there is something new or necessary going on. Because it's his wedding, too, and I don't want him to jsut show up! I want the whole planning process to be as memorable - in a good way - as the wedding will be!
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Other tidbits I've been meaning to blog, but haven't had the opportunity:

- It's been almost two months since Craig & Gen's awesome wedding, and I still haven't managed to get my crap together enough to post pictures and most importantly, upload the video of the 'haka maori' that was performed at the reception. It's not the best quality, but it's still cool. Very cool. If Craig or Gen (or anyone who is anxiously awaiting the viewing of the video I have) is reading this, I am very sorry. I just have been scatterbrained lately (delete button is overworked today, and thank gawd for spell check!), and really sore from work lately. (Not a good excuse, I know, but it's all I have.)

- My wrists are KILLING me. My left wrist keeps popping at work- not repeatedly through the day, but once or twice a week, and it just keeps it sore just enough to remind me it's there. And in my left one, the tenderness and sometimes outright pain has spread to the exact area where I badly sprained my thumb back in... April? Nope, after looking it up, it was June. Either way, I am tempted to wear a tensor bandage to work, but it would get trashed. Maybe I should at the very least start wearing the wrist supports on bad days, and exercise my wrist more on good days... 1 lb weights, here I come...

- Been off the sweet, sweet addiction for about 2 or 3 weeks, and succumbed today. I had a coffee. From Tim's. And, in my rush to get cleaning while I had a few minutes, I forgot about it, and ended up only drinking about 1/2 of it... (Don't tell Chris. Chris, if you are reading this... you saw nothing). I am now thinking about getting one tomorrow morning or at lunch time or something...

- Marley has been doing so much better since we got the report from the 'Animal Psychic' lady that Mom recommended. That is a huge post for another day, but let me just say this: I haven't had to strip the bed and wash the sheets two days in a row because Marley pooped on the bed since before I talked to this lady. And, AND, she's telling us when she has to go out. For me, she kinda woofs a little and wiggles, for Chris, she has an elaborate signal: She will sit on the one couch, move over to the couch he's on (this only applies to when he's on the couch though - kinda useless if he's in the kitchen) then she'll look right at him, jump down to the training pads we have on the floor for during the day accidents, circle a few times, and run to the door. Pretty freaking sweet.

- My arms are getting soooo toned from using the firehoses to clean the floor at work... I'll flex for you and show you... They're bigger than when I worked at Mark's and used to lift those massive pots full of bones and stock when they were scorching hot...

- I totally forgot to mention earlier, or I think I did, too lazy to check right now, that my ethical issues about working at a car wash have been long resolved. All of the chemicals that are used at the wash are completely biodegrable, and the containers they come in are recyclable (apparently the containers most car wash chemicals come in are extremely toxic, and have to be disposed of in a toxic waste site.), and my employers are environmentally conscious, as well as being awesome people and really cool bosses.

-After putting plastic on the windows in the house, almost every room has risen 3 degrees celcius, and I'm no longer freezing at night under 2-3 heavy blankets, with the heat cranked. Yay for insulating things. (Best part is, I can take down the plastic carefully, and label them and reuse them year after year. I would only need to replace the double sided tape!)
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I'm tired. I'm sore. My hand hurts. I want an orange.

I'm going to go eat an orange, soak in a hot tub, go to bed and go to work tomorrow morning and get more sore than I am today. :)

More to come eventually.

OMG!!!

You've got to go to http://www.edmontonhumanesociety.com/pet_search.html

Go to the dogs link.

Look at Molly.

Is she not perfect? She makes me want to go get her! ARGH! First time I look in over a month, and I find a seemingly perfect companion for Marley.

Marley might disagree, and would spend every day trying to show her dominance... but still, argh!

(And she'd be only $85 because she is considered a senior dog! (Over 6 years old). Gah.)

Rolaids does NOT spell relief

especially when the problem isn't in your stomach.

Ok, rolaids are actually my favorite antacid, but they really don't help with my current issue.

Migraine.

Ow.

I got one last night, to blame I'm guessing is the donut I treated myself to* from Tim's. They were out of honey dip (how DARE they?) and out of my next three choices, so when I heard in the list of what they DID have, "Boston cream", I interrupted the young (seemed VERY young, but maybe not...) girl who was rattling them off faster than Marley scuttles away from the yard towards the car.

*I decided I had been good, and deserved a treat. If it works for Marley, it works for me! Or something.

So I spent the better part of yesterday evening wearing Chris' CN hat (kinda like the old time conductor hats- it's huge) pulled down low, so that I could get anything done. Once I was wearing the hat, the pain levelled off at a low dull throb, unless I accidentally glanced in any well-lit direction...

The real issue was the dizziness, the slight aura things and the nausea, oh gawd the nausea.

Last night reminded me of how horrible I felt while I was still taking my antideppressants (for what started out as anxiety, and turned into a combo of that and depression, f*cking pills and their d@mn side effects... just a little bitter about the $$$ I spent on them, the neverending side effects, the numbness I now realize I felt when I was on them. Until I stopped taking them, I never truly realized how much of an effect they had on me. More on that another day.). As Chris well knows, I used to feel sick ev.er.y. damn. day. Maybe once a month I wouldn't have some sort of nausea. Maybe.

Today, I woke up feeling better, but the last 4 hours, I could feel it creeping back. now I am sitting with my work hoody hood pulled as far forward as I can get it, wearing sunglasses in the office. Trying to not give in to the temptation to call my boss and say, "hey, wanna come cover so I can go home and lay down?"

It's not too bad. Dull throb. Light sensitivity's milder than yesterday.

Besides, I have only got 2 hours left in the shift. Then I get to go to the library and pick up the books that are in, go home, see if Chris wants to come shopping, then go to the grocery store. Not sure which yet. (Thinking about going to Safeway... the IGA has really crappy produce, both of them. I need apples to make a pie on Saturday.)

Oh, I need to gas up again. (Tempted to tell Chris to take my car to Edson tomorrow, it's 96.9/L there. Here? Still 103.9/L.)

Gotta go help a customer now!