One pill, twice a day.

With cheese.

For three weeks. (Oh, yeah, this is for Marley).

Chris noticed yesterday afternoon that Marley was licking herself a lot more than usual, and her groin was a lot more red and puffy than normal. We also noticed that wherever she sat on the bed there was a small wet spot. (yuck. We still were trying to get through the last 2 boxes of clothing when this happened, so they got postponed.)

Including when she sat on my pillow.

So, we gave her a bath, and I took an old pair of underwear, put a pantiliner on it and put it on her. I bunched up the extra fabric with a hair tie on her back, so that they would stay on her.

She was having a bit more urine incontinence for a few hours, and after a third pantiliner change in the evening, the pantiliner was clean and dry, but there was an obvious sign of infection, a discharge. So, we phoned the emergency line to the vet, knowing that on a long weekend, the likelihood of waiting it out two more days is just unfair to Marley. He said it wasn't much of an emergency, but that if we wanted to come in, he would call when he had to go in to check on the animals that were there.

Of course we said yes.

We ended up being up until 7 a.m. last night with her, I was worried, and couldn't sleep, and then when I was tired enough to at about 5 a.m., she jumped up on the bed and was shaking and breathing a lot harder than we've ever seen her. She was very warm, and panting, and I was terrified she was going to have a heart attack or something if she didn't calm down. (I tend to panic a lot worse when I am overtired. My mind was racing, we'd looked up her symptoms online, and as best as we could figure, she had some sort of bladder infection, and my mind just took it from there and raced into the horrible possibilities*. Chris did a great job of calming me down!)

We checked her groin again, and it needed to be washed, so we gave her a quick (and least amount of wet fur as possible) bath, and then took the still unhappy looking Marley outside to try to pee.

Apparently at 6 a.m., 3 drops of pee is heaven. Her attitude immediately changed. She was a lot calmer, looked more aware, like she was more comfortable. I felt so bad for her, but she was feeling better, so we could sleep.

*The only reason I tend to overreact to any problems with Marley, is the sheer thought of anything abnormal brings thoughts of Pookie right back up to the front. I know she didn't have any health problems, but I wasn't able to deal with her death very well, and still haven't, I don't think. Chris mentioned that I won't be able to freak out like that with kids, but I told him that I think the difference will be clear. I won't have lost a child, so it won't be as scary as this seems right now. I won't be trying to push grim thoughts from previous experiences out of my head. I am guessing from popular opinion that it still scares the crap right out of you when your kid is sick or has unknown issues, but I think it is mostly instinct that takes over then, too?

We got a call at 11 a.m. saying the vet was going in and we could meet him there in 20 minutes. That might have been the quickest I have ever gotten ready, maybe not in my life, but in a long time. Marley was eager to get outside, but didn't do anything before we got in the car. (We walked around outside for about 5 minutes before leaving.)

The vet was concerned that it could be three things: Pyometra (uterine infection) - very serious, would require surgery; urinary tract infection - antibiotics; or another bad possibility: urinary calculi (stones) which depending on the size could result in the need for surgery. (Patches had this surgery a few years ago, so it was a familiar topic - the vet seemed a little put off by my limited reaction until I told him we'd been through it with another dog before.)

Luckily the increasingly visible spay scar on Marley's belly ruled out the first one that would definitely require surgery, because without the organs, they can't get infected! (Duh.) Yay! Most serious and life-threatening one was ruled out.

The vet that was on call was regularily the large animal (cows, horses) vet, and apologized for his supposed unfamiliarity with the patient. I thought he was amazing. He did know a lot, was very frank about all of the options, brought out a book with pictures to show what we would be looking for on the x-rays we did. I was impressed, and a little sad that he wouldn't be Marley's regular doctor. (I wish I could find one that nice, patient and thorough.)

Speaking of x-rays, he strongly recommended that we do two x-rays to check for the stones, which could cause serious problems if we left them unchecked. We weren't about to play around with Marley's health, so of course we did them.

The thing about that is, most people hand over their animals and the x-rays get taken by assistants or whoever. Because the vet was in on a day that they would normally be closed, there were no assistants to help him out. So, I got to put on a vest/apron thing that was strangely comforting, even though it weighed about 20 pounds, and some HUGE lead gloves that made gripping Marley almost impossible. I held her front legs while the vet held her back ones, and we got the two shots, and I have to say, if it weren't for those gloves, I would have had another issue. Marley was fighting so much that she ended up biting one of the gloves. It was a really hard bite, too, not a warning one in the least!

When we were done with the x-rays, she was glad to jump into Chris's arms, who was waiting around the corner while the x-rays were taken. I'm not fond of the look I got, but I can't say I blame her.

The x-rays were really good ones, and while we were discussing the lack of bladder/kidney/etc. stones, I was checking out the rest of her bones. Her hips have been cracking a lot lately, and I wanted to see if they looked normal. (I saw pics online while we were looking up her symptoms last night of healthy, not healthy and in need of replacing hip joints.) Glad to say hers look great!

We ended up getting 3 weeks worth of medication, and about 2 hours after we gave the first pill to her, she appears a lot closer to normal already. We are still supposed to try to get a urine sample whenever we can, to check for blood and crystalisation. So far, it hasn't worked. It was much easier with Patches, because he doesn't squat as close to the ground as he can possibly get. :)

Trying to get a 2 inch dixie cup under a dog that is about 1 to 1.5 inches off the ground isn't easy. But, I bet that paints a pretty picture for you, doesn't it?

Anyway, all in all, we're glad we didn't wait until Monday, because the symptom onset was pretty quick, as far as we could tell, and we didn't want to have to keep her in the makeshift diapers for longer than we had to. Even though it was really cute.

We still have no idea how much this will cost us. I am guessing the urine sample will add to the cost, but because there was no receptionist there, and the vet doesn't do billing, we have to go back in on tuesday to pay for it.

I am assuming it will be costly, though:
- emergency visit/exam including history*
- 2 x-rays
- 3 weeks of pills (42)
- urine test
*not sure if it qualifies as an emergency visit if you don't get to see the doctor right when you call. We waited about 18 hours.
______________
$$$$$

Cutest member of your family's health back on track: Priceless.

:) So totally worth it.

Dealing Daily

 
Lately I've been thinking about the wedding even more than usual.
 
(I KNOW!)
 
The thing is, I'm not stressed. I am getting very emotional though. (Considering how I reacted* in the Bridal House when I got my dress, I anticipate bawling the whole week before the wedding.) I have been listening to a lot of music lately, trying to figure out what to have on our "please play" list, and any preferences we might have for certain times throughout the night. When certain songs come on, not even love songs or slow songs, imagine "DJ Play My Song" by Jully Black, I picture the wedding and everyone having a good time, and dancing and then I start to tear up. I get shaky for a few minutes and have to calm myself down.
 
* Cried a few times. Like all out "mom-get-over-here" overwhelmed. The first dress did it. Then THE DRESS did it. Then later thinking about the dress did it.
 
Again, not stressed, just excited and CANNOT WAIT!!!!
 
The control freak in me is starting to come out, and fortunately so far I have been able to tame the feeling, and I sure hope that I will continue to be able to. I am getting the urge that I want to do it all myself (how ass-backwards is that?) and knwoing that I can't is really popping up in my head more and more.
 
I also want to do it all now, to be prepared as early as I possibly can, just so that it is done. I started to look at the floor plan for the reception and wanted to start planning some things, like seating arrangements, table arrangements, etc. but as Chris pointed out, it doesn't make sense to plan for any of that until the RSVP's are in... duh.
 
I think it's just that I've been dreaming about this for so long, and it seems like I've been planning it forever, so much so that I am TOO excited! I think I need to take a step back and start to meditate or something. The whole thing is getting to be a little too much for me to handle. (Getting overwhelmed easily again - see above re: dress.)
 
It's become a "several-times-daily" thing for me to think about the wedding, some aspect of it, the ceremony, the reception, the cake cutting... and get excited...
 
I can't wait. I can't even think of what to say, thinking about it has me so babbly. (See above.)
______________________________________________________________________
 
In other news, our place is a little neater, a little cleaner, got the second bedroom setup and over half of the boxes that remained in it have been sorted, the other half are scattered in the living room awaiting sorting and putting away.
 
We also have 2 boxes (out of like 10) of clothes and towels to go through. We've gotten rid of SO MUCH stuff since we moved into this small tiny apartment, and couldn't be happier* about it. A lot of stuff has been donated to the thrift store in town, some stuff has been set aside for a garage sale thing that is hapenning the same weekend I am going to Cold Lake (23-27? ish) and some stuff I thought some people might like has been set aside into a "to-bring-to-Cold-Lake" pile, which is getting rather large.
 
*Another reason why I am hesitant to 'register' for stuff for the wedding. We literally DO NOT WANT OR NEED ANYTHING!!! We honestly and truly just want everyone to be able to make it, and have a great time while they are there. We only want to celebrate with the people we love, and don't want to end up with more stuff we don't need. I have gone back and forth on this a few times, because, obviously we could update our kitchen stuff a bit, Chris hates the plates and glasses we have, but I love them. We could use new towels that match better (light blue and burgandy so do not!) but we don't need them. I looked at some stuff at Stokes, and could totally register there for a LOT OF STUFF. I could completely restock my kitchen in that store. (And would have so much fun doing it, too.) 
 
I guess, since Chris has been cooking a lot more lately, any kitchen stuff we get would be for both of us, not just me, but still. We've made do with what we have for over 3 years and don't see the need to change it all. (He made me a really awesome fettucine alfredo, completely out of the blue, and tried to keep me out of the kitchen and the meal a total surprise, but I snuck in and kept peeking... I was so excited that Chris was cooking for me!)
 
I am torn on the issue of registering. If I did, it would end up being at like 3 different stores. Definitely Stokes. And I have no idea which two others. One with towels, I guess. Maybe one with picture frames- see below. Can you register at Michaels? (Just kidding! Sort of.) 
______________________________________________________________________
 
If I can figure out how to post pictures from my cell phone onto my blog (not available in Canada yet) or even to flickr (same deal) I will be posting daily pics, and man, I wish I could. Also, woman, I wish I could.
 
I have probably about 16 Gigabytes of pictures to wade through to post, and the thought it almost enough to cause pain.
 
I take more than I could ever have enough time to sort, let alone printing my faves and getting them framed or anything. (I want so badly to be able to put framed pictures on my walls... Not just my own, there are some certain family members who have taken some awesome shots I would love to have framed, as well as this guy who has some of the most amazing pictures I've ever seen. (He also has them posted under a creative commons license, and to clarify, I emailed him to ask if it would be okay with him if I was to print some of his pictures for my walls to hold. He is super nice and said yes, and I can't wait to have the $$$ to have this one printed. And this one, this one, and this one! I think I have about 50 of his pictures listed in my favorites on flickr, and man, if I had enough walls (and $$$), I would totally cover them all with pictures, not just from him.
 
I love pictures as much as I love music, and I LURVE MUSIC!!!! If I had to choose a sense to lose (of the 6 - cause I believe there are 6) I might have to make it taste. And I love food, too.
 
But I could live without tasting food again, but not so much without hearing music, or seeing. Definitely not those two. I know that taste and smell kind of go hand in hand, but if I could still smell but not taste, I could be okay with that. I couldn't live without touch, though. I live for hugs. :)
 
Lots and lots of hugs!
_____________________________________________________________
 
BUT, I should go. I am trying to figure out a way to play a bunch of music that I have on my computer through Chris's speakers (he's at work - YAY! And it's a 'yay' only because he's been laid off for a few weeks. He's worked a few days here and there, but not regular by any means.)
 
I am going to sort a few boxes tonite before I go to bed. I am sure there is plenty here that is "my crap" to sort, stuff that Chris would just end up asking me what to do with it anyway, so I might as well do it!
 
:)   
 
 
 
 
 

Look up

Look up
Originally uploaded by theanykey

Huh.

Just trying out some new stuff online... I now have my flickr and blog linked so I can post my uploaded pictures directly from my flickr age. Kinda neat.

I already had it set up so that I can email posts (and then promptly forgot my login info!) and this will make picture poting easy too!

Ijust hope to be able to link my cell phone to my blo soon...

Inside My Head

What it's like to be chronically anxious?

I stumbled across this excerpt from a book I am fully intending to read when it comes out and I can get it @ the library.

It's almost disturbing to me how similar her words echo with how I feel sometimes. I feel pretty alone inside my head, and I can't really express it, because I feel like no one else really understands it.

Then I come across something like this, and I can't deal with the fact that there are millions of other people who know just. how. i. feel.



I'm terrified any time we go down any big hills in the car. (Not even that big.) I swear Chris is holding back from laughing and crying at the same time when he sees the look on my face when I see the hill, and hears the gasp.

The Gasp.

Sigh.


**This might post twice, I tried to post via email, but that so far hasn't worked, been a few minutes, and I am impatient to add the part I forgot to put in the first post I sent: The link. :) Been very absentminded lately...

Inside my head

I stumbled across this excerpt from a book I am fully intending to read when it comes out and I can get it @ the library.

It's almost disturbing to me how similar her words echo with how I feel sometimes. I feel pretty alone inside my head, and I can't really express it, because I feel like no one else really understands it.

Then I come across something like this, and I can't deal with the fact that there are millions of other people who know just. how. i. feel.



I'm terrified any time we go down any big hills in the car. (Not even that big.) I swear Chris is holding back from laughing and crying at the same time when he sees the look on my face when I see the hill, and hears the gasp.

The Gasp.

Sigh.

Twitter on, baby!

I found me some twitter...

I guess I am still running about 6 months behind the rest of the world, because I always seem to find things like facebook and twitter about that long after other people get bored with it. Oh well.
 

http://twitter.com/theanykey
 
 
 
 
 

Many, many things

So much has happened over the last few weeks that I am going to try to keep each item short, in list form, I guess.

And don't mind the spelling mistakes, I am tired. I caught up on deleting spam in my 5 or 6 email inboxes, reading several blogs, checking photos, and trying to figure out my login to this website, since I normally just use the email feature to post blogs... It's probably been 6 months since I last actually logged in to this site...

- The move was stressful. Very very stressful. A few key notes include my newfound (re-found?) hatred for a certain moving truck company that operates all over North America, my disdain for packing stuff, moving stuff, and unpacking (especially unpacking) of stuff.

- We were delayed by about 2 1/2 days because of the extreme unavailability of moving vehicles, the booking of 3 different people for one truck, and the total disappearing act of the moving truck company person. We ended up taking the key out of the lock box, as suggested by the rep located in Calgary, and did all of the rental stuff over the phone.

- As if I didn't have enough self-esteem issues, Marley gets extremely excited when she sees me get dressed. Like she dances. She wiggles. She smiles and pants and runs for the door. (She thinks she'll get to go outside anytime we go near the door, which is very near the kitchen.)

- For the move of our stuff out of the house, C's Dad came over and he along with C moved everything into the truck. I feel bad about it, because I didn't load anything into the truck. I helped organize a bit, and was packing final crap and starting to clean, but still. They loaded up the whole place (ish) in 2 1/2 hours. It then took us about 1 and a half to load up the car with garbage, run it to a dumpster, get food, load up the car with stuff going to the house not via the moving truck, and sorta kinda organize what was left in the house.

- Chris and I - alone - moved all of our stuff into the apartment, in about 4 1/2 hours, including several breaks to check on and pay attention to Marley, and a very quick hey-the-pizza-was-delivered-to-the-truck-let's-grab-a-slice-and-keep-going break. Oh, yeah, this was all same day as the moving stuff into the truck. We did it all in about 11 hours, start to finish. Never again.

- We discovered that the couches we were somewhat forced to buy when we moved into our last place would not fit into this place. Maybe the love seat might have, had it been two less exhausted, frustrated people moving it in. We ended up selling the love seat to our landlord for cheap, just to get rid of it so we didn't have to cram it in our storage thing. (I mentioned "somewhat forced" above: meaning that the previous owners didn't want to have to move them, and we would have been stuck with them for a month or two regardless of whether or not we bought them, plus they were better than the 4th or 5th hand couches that we had. I just didn't feel like we had a choice.)

- The kitchen is unpacked. The bathroom is mostly unpacked - just remnant crap left. The living room is about halfway, but we are still waiting on shelves and a computer desk to finish setting stuff up. The bedroom is not ready, the second bedroom is far from ready. (I'm going to need about a month's notice for any guests' arrival...)

- The computer desk and shelves I mentioned are still at the other place. I admit that we are very lucky in that there isn't really a deadline to get our crap out of the other place, ditto with final cleaning - all of our freezer food is still there. We wanted to rent (ugh) another truck this weekend to go down on Sunday to pick up the rest of our crap - still unsure why we didn't get all the big stuff while we had the huge truck - and to finish cleaning, BUT there are no trucks, and they aren't open on the weekend anyway. So... the likelihood of getting a truck for Chris's one and only day off each week (Sunday) is getting smaller as we speak. Type? Read? Communicate via one sided bitch-fest? Sure, that works.

- Last friday was a bad day. I woke up in a good mood, and managed to keep the good mood even though a series of increasingly bad things kept happening. I honestly felt like something somewhere was testing me, waiting for my head to explode. (Thank goodness it didn't, what a mess.) The absolute worst was that at 6:15 p.m. while prepping dinner, the power in my kitchen, dining room and living room went out. No music, no lights, no microwave time, no heating the water in the kettle, no preheating the oven. It ALL went out. The fridge, everything. After calling the landlord - none of the circuit breakers had flipped, so I was worried there was a serious short somewhere, we discovered that electricians can be very high maintenance demanding primadonnas. Some of them. Some 'don't do weekends'. Some 'don't do apartments or condos'. Some just don't answer back at all. Still.

- Finally on Monday morning a really nice guy came in and checked everything out, (told me that there is no way the panel box would have passed inspection - very comforting), and discovered it was a fuse. How old is this building that they still have fuses? We have no idea. Oh, there's aluminum wiring still in this building, too. (The fuse the electrician pulled out of the box had a price of $0.32 on it. From a long since closed store from around here ish...)

- We have power, our phones are sort of working, and Marley is somewhat adjusted. She knows where home is when I go for a drive, which is cool. She however, hasn't realized that people going to the apartment across the hall do not need to be barked at endlessly.

- I was sick on tuesday, and Chris was very sweet and took good care of me.

- He is sick now (guessing two completely different things) and I regret that I am extremely bitchy from another round of well, crap, and so I wish I could say I am being as good to him right now as he was to me when I was sick.

I am trying, though.

:)

How was your last two weeks?

Anyone who walks

 
This is an open request to anyone who may or may not go for a bunch of walks where there may or may not be a bunch of pussy willows that people might be willing to pick for me.
 
I am hoping to accumulate a bunch of them, to use at the wedding, but there isn't a whole lot around here, not that I have seen, anyway.
 
So... if anyone knows where they can get a bunch, it would be greatly appreciated, and I will figure out a way to get them from you to me...
 
Got a bunch of ideas floating around now...
 
Yeah.
 
If you can/will, please let me know, and thank you!
 
:)

I am going to miss it.

 
I am going to miss Hinton. A lot. You can't see the mountains from Edson, and the lady who told Mom she could from the one part of the town is either thinking of something else, or she's looking at a picture on the wall.
 
I couldn't see them at all from anywhere in Edson. It's usually about 20 minutes out of Edson before you see them for the first time.
 
I've really been taking it for granted how close we are to such an amazing view. I am glad I have pictures, but none of them do the real ones any justice.
 
I am thankful we aren't moving further away from them, Edson is a nice distance from the city (2 hours) and Jasper (2 hours). Right smack dab in the middle. 
 
Edson looks a lot more like Cold Lake than Hinton does. Hinton has hills. A lot of them. Edson... has... sky and trees. And a really long town.
 
I should be packing...
________________________________________________________
 
It was recently brought to my attention that I forwarded an email about a peeved off lady venting about how she doesn't care how people are being treated when it comes to the war, etc.
 
While I am not as good at expressing how I am feeling and thinking about things, I admit that I barely read that email, and felt the immediate need to send it to other people.
 
Well, my eyes are opened a lot more than they were. The comments (the whole damn email) was not only offensive, but also bigoted. It is basically a big religious rant from someone who eyes are closed, whose mind is closed.
 
I would like to apologize to everyone that I sent the email to. Not just for sending you crap, but because I should have read it better, contemplated it awhile before sending it.
 
I like to think of myself as a person who tries to not judge, to be biased, racist, judgemental, and as a spiritual but not religious person, I am ashamed that I thought that the email was a good one to forward.
 
"Doesn't not caring about terrorists imprisoned make a person just as messed up as they are?"
_________________________________________________________
 
My tendancy to block things out, like some of the horrible things going on in the world, usually comes back to bite me in the ass. If I take a good long look at the world, I get depressed. The way people are treating other people, animals, the environment. It all upsets me. I am too sensitive to deal with a lot of things, and it is another reason why I want to go back to a counsellor, just to talk things over with someone else, to find ways to deal with things, instead of blocking them out.
 
I am easily swayed into taking different sides with emotional subjects and need to reinforce to myself that taking time to think things over before deciding something is a good thing. 
 
You know those commercials where they show you video or pictures of animals that have been tortured/mistreated/used for testing? I cry when I see those. I have to hide when they come on, because I WANT to watch them, but it upsets me to no end.
 
Chris will change the channel to avoid the aftermath.
 
I mostly avoid news channels/websites/headlines because I don't want to know. I know it is selfish to live in my own little bubble, and again, why I want "therapy", because I'd like to know what's going on where, and understand more about why.
 
I do try to be a good person. I recycle as much as possible, even bringing plastics all the way to Cold Lake when we travel so that they get recycled, rather than letting them go to a lanfill here.
 
In Hinton, instead of regular garbage cans, they have these town-issued bins, they are a little more sturdy, and the truck uses a mechanical arm to life them up, like a small dumpster, instead of the drivers having to wrench their backs lifting garbage all day. I am proud to say that while all of our neighbors have theirs filled to overflowing each week (it can hold about 10 bags of garbage), we usually go about 5 or 6 weeks between NEEDING to put the bin at the curb. And even then it's not usually full. Between all of the cardboard, plastic, paper, etc. that we recycle, it has lowered our 'contribution' to the landfill by massive amounts. If we had gotten a composting thing set up like we'd wanted to, it would have reduced our garbage by another 50% (composting is not recommended in Hinton: attracts a lot of wildlife to the point that they usually recommend that people don't even put garbage outside at all until garbage day.) (didn't have the $$ to buy the bins that compost it in 28 days.) We would have put the bin out once every two or three months.
 
I try to be nice to people, I try to be open minded about every facet of every lifestyle, religion, culture.
 
I'm just a little slow at times, I guess.
 
:) I can just try to make up for my err by being a better person from now on.
 
I promise I will think about emails before I blindly forward them. I will consider the deeper meaning, the words chosen, and how other people might read the email, not just how I read it.
_____________________________________________________________
 
And I will get a composting thing.
_____________________________________________________________
 
This whole thing is kind of embarrasing to me, because I wanted our wedding to be as environmentally friendly, socially and ethically conscious as is possible without it costing $100 000. Our lives are heading in that direction, and it's what we both want.
 
We are kind of going with a 'green' theme, both in the colour and the 'natural, earthy, fair-trade, lowest footprint' sense.
 
I know we've already screwed up a lot of it, some things are definitely not quite fitting, but we have plans for offsetting. We want to have a great day, with everyone we love, but we don't want to leave a mark because of it.
 
We are trying to be concious of our plans, our decisions.
 
I'm not sure if we will have flowers, unless I can find fair-trade organic ones. I'm not sure I'd want to hand the ladies closest to me a bundle of pesticide laced preservative dipped sweatshop flowers. I might as well give them rat poison.* 
_____________________________________________________________
 
*I am fully aware this statement might be a bit of an over-reaction, but, when you look at it in the grand scheme of things... do I really need a bunch of flowers to celebrate with my friends and family? Do I really need anything but to be there with them?
 
I am trying to minimalize everything, reusing a lot of things, using things that can be reused by other people (Steph, anything from my wedding: you want it, it's yours to use.) not buying stuff because it's pretty. If I don't need it, I don't want to bother.
_____________________________________________________________
 
While Chris and I are traditional in a lot of ways, we are also unconventional. There is a lot we are not doing for our wedding, that I already am aware people whill be asking why.
 
I've already been balked at by a few people because Chris and I don't believe in the "The bride and groom can't see each other before the ceremony, because it is bad luck." It's not bad luck, it's an old tradition dating back to the days when women were literally 'given' away, and her father had to pay a dowry to the grooms family for taking her! (Because women were worth less, back then.) Same with the veil over the face. The seeing each other thing and the veil were so that if the bride was not attractive physically, the groom would not fully see her until they were already married. (It was to prevent the groom and his family from calling off the wedding if the bride was ugly, basically.)
 
Chris and I will be seeing each other before the ceremony. I decided that after I get my hair and stuff done, I don't want him to see me, not for any reason other than I want the full view of me walking up the aisle to be a surprise. He won't be seeing my dress until then, although, if he'd wanted to, I would have had no problem with that, either.
 
We won't be throwing the bouquet or doing the garter toss. Mostly because we aren't overly comfortable with them, but also, I've been 'singled' out at weddings enough to know that it is kind of embarrassing. There are some people who truly enjoy these traditions, but Chris and I both don't. If someone else wants to do those at my wedding, feel free, but we (so far) probably won't.
 
I was thinking when we started planning the wedding that I would be getting gel nails for the wedding because they are elegant and gorgeous and whatever, but I've been thinking it over, and it just isn't me. I want the theme to incorporate natural elements, and then get fake nails? How would that make sense? My natural nails will be perfectly fine. Who will notice the difference anyway? If I am beaming, no one will criticise because I didn't get fake nails. (And if they do, well... I have an opinion for that, too.) Gel nails are ok for some. They look really cool, but in the end, it's more chemicals my body doesn't need. (My body is going through enough right now, thankyouverymuch. 3 different antibiotics plus an antibiotic cream in recent weeks... plus advil. A lot of advil.)
 
I really hope that this post doesn't sound preachy or 'better-than-thou' because I am sure aware I have a lot of problems, a lot to work on. Some things work for some people, some things work for others. A lot of the traditional wedding stuff doesn't work for me. That's just the way it is.
 
I also find it kind of awkward when everyone who is telling me to do what I want for the wedding then is astonished that I do things that are important to me, and choose to not do other things. I am discovering that some of the things most important to us are some of the things that no one knew about us. I'm not sure if that will make sense to everyone else.
 
Basically, this wedding has given me the opportunity to open up and stand a little taller, a little stronger when confronted with arguments about something I believe in, something that is important to me.
 
And I am glad.
 

Going to be distant

 
Hey, how's it going?
 
I just wanted to let everyone know that until after we've moved and get a little settled, I may or may not have time to play around online, so I won't be emailing much, facebooking, posting pics or blogging...
 
Myabe.
 
See? I don't even have time to fix my mistakes! I have to go pack like a freaking monster now!
 
If monsters pack, that it. (If they do, please send all monsters, including bogeyman, abominable snowmen, blurry sasquatches, loch-ness', beasts, etc, to my house. Their help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.)