Going Home

I am going home tomorrow!!!

Yay! I get to see everybody!

Oh, I can't wait, AND... I get to stay, 2 whole nights!!!!!

I don't even know what to write, I am so excited...

I am going to visit Pookie, and take Patches out for a good run!!!

And everyone is getting a HUGE HUG!!!!!!!

But I need to go now! Food and Sleep, await!!!

I love you all! See you tomorrow!!!

Me!

A good day!

Hello out there.

I hope that everyone had a great day, and cannot wait to see my family next weekend!

Today, I woke up late, and putzed around for a few hours,then at around 1 oclock decided to have a shower after Chris' parents called to say they would be here within a couple of hours...

Yeah, so in about an hour, Chris and I completely cleaned and organized the house, and so now I can see the bedroom floor, and the kitchen table. It is kind of scary.

And, go figure, it has been 5 months since we've lived here, and Christmas is the first time we actually use the kitchen table.

But when we move, we will definitely keep it cleaner. The townhouse is larger in square footage, not including the basement. And it is much more accessible. One block from my job, and same to the main LRT station for the area, which is where the other two will need to go to get to their jobs, which are on the route of the LRT. If that made any sense at all.

And there is lots of shopping nearby, and that makes life real easy...

Yeah. We just need to get our crap together and apply.

:)

Moi.

I finally had a real day off today. Except for the fact that I was going to go in at 10 to open the doors so the other workers can enter... but was called after I was on the way, my boss came in, so I wasn't needed. It was nice.

So I putzed around all day, and we went out and had a great supper at Chili's where I have never been. I had a good steak, it was delicious, but only because of its superb marbling (Ribeye) and quality. The marbling I spoke of was also LOTS AND LOTS of fat. And this was the leanest of the two cuts I was deciding between. But still one of the best steaks I have ever had.

Nothing tops Dad's cooking though!

And I get to see my Mommy tomorrow! Good stuff all around!

I am going to go though. We are going to watch a movie, and then go to sleep...

Me.

My Boo...

...came to see me today...

I was at work, and no customers were around, just my boss, Dave and I were talking... I was telling him about Pookie, and the horrible experience that resulted in her physical life being taken away, and mine being changed forever. This, also, was right after I finally published the last blog, during which I cried, a lot. It wouldn't publish properly last night when it was written, so I did it today at work.

Anyway, I was telling him about her, and all of a sudden one of the tables that we stack out lots of deals onto started to shake as if someone had tripped into it. It made us both jump, as it was 10 feet away, and there was NO ONE around. I immediately went behind it to see if there was another reason, and neither of us could find one.

I believe that it was a sign that Pookie came to see me, to let me know that it's okay.

And even if it was something reasonable, like the floor shifting, which it shouldn't be to that extent, I don't care. I KNOW that Boo was with me today.

I also had a lot of deja vu today. More than normal. Thought that was interesting too.

Gonna go, have to prepare notes for the meeting I am doing on Saturday.

Thanks for visiting, Baby Girl, I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. Please give me signs more often.

Love, Me (the blond girl that gave really good scratches and massages).

The Stare That Breaks Me

I miss my family, I miss setting up the Christmas tree, which I don't even know if they did. I miss the daily anticipation, as it gets closer to Christmas morning, even as we get older, and we spend less on gifts, and more thought on spending more time together.

I miss the smell of decorations, the look of the tree at night when it is the only light, besides the tv, and the sound of the Christmas carols that Mom likes to play.

There's times at work when I am just about to cry because they insist on our playing Christmas music from Dec 1-25. The thought of spending Christmas Day with anyone besides my Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, and Patches, well, it breaks my heart. It also reminds me that Pookie will not be there, and I don't care if other people are sick of hearing about me missing her. You know what? I loved, and still love her. I saw her get killed, and felt like it was my fault because I opened the door. But that doesn't matter to me. Because she may be gone, physically, but I know she is still here. She still visits me. I pray for her, and to her. I ask her to watch over my family, because I can't. Because I can't visit them, I ask her to. And all of this together is going to make me cry. I have been waiting for an opportunity to set up my tree, but I don't know if I want to. We don't really have room, and I am getting depressed already.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and have been leaning towards going to C.L. for Christmas, but I may be going alone if I do go. C will be spending the 25th with his parents, and the day before, and probably after too. J probably has to work. I kinda wanted to leave Christmas eve after work, and go to C.L., and leave either 25th night or 26th morning, but I don't want to drive in those conditions by myself. And it looks like neither can go with me for New Years either.

I miss my family so much. I am only three hours away, and it is so rare that I see them anymore.

I am sick of going down for so quick of a visit, that Patches will barely, kind of, not really, warm up to me again, and I leave again and he gives me the LOOK. The stare that breaks my heart.

Patches, I wish I could stay. I really do.

But I am going to go to bed now, so that I do not end up late for work. Big visit by head honchos tomorrow.

Yay.

If I don't get to see you guys, Merry Christmas. I am sending all of my love, hugs, squishes...

I wish I could be there, and bringing dirt pie.

Now that I am older, I want to go to the family get togethers and can't.

argh. Theya, it doesn't get easier. Feel blessed to live the good life right now.

I will talk to you all again soon.

To sum it up, lots of hours

Wow.

99 hours. That is how many I have worked since November 29th. And I have yet 36 to go. In three days time.

My head is going to hurt come Christmas, but especially this time of year, we are going to need the money, and particularily because our lease is up at this place, and we were looking at getting something cheaper... or at least more transportation accessible.

We are looking at some townhouses that are 1 block away from my new store, up by 140th Ave and 42nd Street, and should be cheaper, especially if I don't need to have my car running every day!!! That would be awesome. And it is right near the end of the line for the LRT station, and would make it easier for both my roommates to get to work than if we moved somewhere else.

It is near a grocery store, lots of major roads, some serious shopping areas, like COSTCO!!! And, also blockbuster, Roger's Video, There's banks, and like 3 Tim Horton's, and I haven't yet seen a McD's besids the one in the W/M that I refuse to visit, because it is evil. My boss made me accompany him there to buy some stuff for the store, and it reminded me why I dislike it so much...

Wow, rambling!!!!

Going to go, it is 2 a.m. and I have to get up at 7ish, to leave for work at about 7:45ish, so I can put in lots of freaking hours today too...

Wish me luck, and hopefully soon some sleep. I am off on Sunday, and I think I will throw away batteries from clocks that day. And shut off the electricity. Or maybe just the alarms.

Anyway...

Me.

Soon I will be rewriting a long emotional blog that I had written a few days ago. When I tried to save it, it erased it all, so I gave up. It seems all of my really emotional ones do that.

But alas, there will be another day.

To sum it up:

I miss you, Pookie
I miss you, Family,
I miss being home,
I miss feeling home
I miss my car
I love my Family, All of it,
I am proud of my family
I am glad to be a part of my family,
I am glad to have such a great family,
I love Pookie, and her baby boy, Patches
I can't wait to go to bed now.

this cat is bored

Some cats work, some cats play.

We are now overstaffed at my job. Isn't that great?

Oh, well.

I am still working 72 hours a week, just so I can get a decent paycheck.

Long hours+ not much sleep= cranky me

It's fun though. ANyway... gago.

moi

The new me is trying to come out...

Today, I am a salesperson.

I am no longer a merchandiser, and now work up in Clareview. According to what I am being told by my new Manager, I will be the Assistant Manager come January, if I don't return to merchandising, which I very may not. Depending on what the salary is...

YAY! Hopefully this is a successful Christmas, because I could really use the cash!!!

But, anyway, I have a touch of a headache, and am going to chug some water before finally going down to the gym! First time since we moved in!!!!

I am back!!! It's quite a bit later. All I did is go on the treadmill for a little while, but my legs were not happy afterwards. Because our apartment is only 1 floor down from the gym, we took the stairs, and my legs cramped very badly, even after stretching, and cooling down, and it took a lot of effort, and a lot of pain to get down the stairs.

I had to go down sideways, and use my arms to lessen the amount of weight on my legs.

I am going to be one hurting unit tomorrow.

But it felt good to be there, and I am sure I will sleep good tonite. And, Mom, be proud, I will be going back. Lots. I want to be in shape!!!! Even if it means eventually going every nite!!!

And, in the new year, I am going to enroll into either Tai Chi or Yoga, and maybe both, if they're not too expensive, and if I can find time. It will be easier after January 1st. Business will be very slow.

Anyway, I am going to go have a shower and then maybe go to bed... Get some good sleep.

Goodnight,

Me.

From new baby to new doctor

I went to see Theya today, and she, Chair, Jason, and my sister Joy all got to meet my boyfriend, Chris. Yay!

Job didn't seem to care, and he ended up biting me!!! I'm not sure if he was trying to play or what, but he ended up scratching up my hand a little bit.

Even as bad as my right eye had gotten to be very irritated because of my allergies to the kitty, it is much better now. Although I had a shower, and felt better, and went shopping, when I came back, my throat started to swell up, and I had to take my athsma puffer, and coughed enough to make my throat raw. Nice and painful.

Need to find me a good femily doctor in Edmonton, and also need to find a good acupuncturist, masseuse, reiki healer...

I have thought about looking into breast reduction surgery, and just really need to talk to a doctor because I always flip flop back and forth between what I feel about it at any given time...

I don't know.

Gonna go,

Me

The Animals need help.

Today, life is god.

Except for the fact that the keyboard I am typing on doesn't type so great. That is why it says 'god' and not 'good'.

I am presently watching a tv show about cops in the states that go around and deal with people who are cruel to animals, called Animal Precinct. They just charged a guy with 6 counts of animal cruelty, because he neglected to seek medical care for them when they were hit by a car. They can't put pressure on their legs, and need extensive therapy and maybe surgery. That sucks.

I want a pupy. Well, maybe a PUPPY, NOT A PUPY...

But I don't think I could deal with one right now.

Especially financially, so I won't even think of it.

But I have some stuff to do, and will return to write later.

Me.

Today, I am me.
Tomorrow, I will be me.

Today, I got to see my Mommy.
Tomorrow, I will get to go to work.

Today, I bought 2 pairs of shoes.
Tomorow, I will be wearing new shoes.

Today, I realized I have to pay rent soon.
Tomorrow, I will.

Today, I am tired.
Tomorrow, I am sure I will be, too.

Today, I saw my other car again.
Tomorrow, I will remember seeing my other car, and miss it, again. Already. Still.

Today, in Edmonton, a man (pedestrian) was hit by a car and has serious injuries.
Tomorrow, he will find out it was a drunk driver.

Today, his dog was killed in the same accident.
Tomorow, I will still be praying that he recover, and find peace that his dog is safe now.

Today, some friends at work were discussing a comic's opinion that his (the comic's) dog committed suicide.
Tomorrow, the subject will still be a little bit fresh, as I cannot even to begin to think of that as funny.

Today, I wondered why Pookie had to go.
Tomorrow, I will again feel assured that she is not dead, just waiting for us to take her for walks on the other side.

Today, I will inform others that I do not believe in hell.
Tomorrow, some will still laugh as I try to explain to them my beliefs.
Today and Tomorrow, I will not care if they laugh.

Today, I am tired.
Tomorrow, I will still be tired, and will attempt to get to the gym.

Sigh, I miss Pookie. A lot. March 10, 2004.

I wish I could see her again, hint hint Pookie, come visit me. Give me a sign that you remember me and miss me, too.

She probably has no time to remember me, what with all of her running through fields, and chasing squirrels, and chewing rawhide, and cuddling up to all sorts of people, and getting belly rubs.

I wish I could be there to do it, sort of. Or that she could be here.

I know I will see her again.

She was such a good dog.

I can still picture her, running, playing. Her polite way to ask permission to jump up on the couch. She was always allowed, but if we were sitting somewhere, she would make sure we were sure we wanted her there. And we always did.

I am so glad I got to have her, and share her with everyone else. I know she was the family's dog, more human than dog, but I still felt like I had a special connection with her. She was definitely Dad's dog, and Mom's dog. Not really shared, but at the same time, both. I just loved that she always loved me. No matter what. As I still do her.

I love you, Boo.

I will see you again.

UNtil then, be good.

Love, me.

Digitally Invaded

Chris and I...

Yes, he lives with us now... And he has imported his vast technological resources, which is how I am typing this blog entry on a notebook computer with wireless internet access... while digital cable plays in the background, and Chris is on his Desktop Computer, online, that are networked together... Yeah.

He has had too much time on his hands.

But anyway, I get to go meet my new cousin, Theya, this weekend. Yay!!! I will take lots of px!!
And my Aunt and Uncle get to meet my boyfriend, Chris...

Gonna go sleep now,

Moi

Wow,

Chris moved in more of his stuff this weekend and amazingly, the house is more clean and organized than it has been in a long time. Or at least it seems to be.

As a result of his longing for tv again, Chris bought a digital cable receiver from the Shack. The installation guy was here today, and we know have digital cable through Shaw. It is approximately $45/month, and we get all of the channels for the first month, and an extra 13 for the next 3 or 6 or something. Apparently, the receiver was around $170!!! I just found this out, btw.

So, now that we have television, with payper view, which is his number one reason for wanting to get it in the first place... I am going to be glued. He also bought a DVD Recorder, which means he can record onto DvD straight from tv.

He is very much into electronics, and is very good with all of it. He is also very very smart, not just electronics, and is very sweet.

But enough bragging...

He mainly wanted to get television because he has a bad habit of renting movies with the full intention of returning them on time... but yeah...

ANYWAY,

going to go, have to buy a birthday cake for my roommate Jare, whose 23rd birthday is today! You rock Jarrod, never change, except your clothes. Thank you for always being there, and for putting up with my crap.

Hope this year is better than all the rest.

Me.

Home sweet home

Well, I am home again.

Home meaning parents house, where I grew up and have MANY MANY memories from. Too many to start!

I am knid of bored, and so plan to go over to Nikki's and visit with her, especially since I have seen her only once in the last four months, and it was a brief 5 minutes, when I stopped by her work to scare the living bejeezus out of her! It worked. She ended up crying, I ended up crying, and well, damnit, I miss her!

So I am going over to visit with her and her kick butt super smart daughter Crystal. She is not even ten years old, and she has been reading newspapers for years! Crazy smart, that one is...

Anyway, I will write more next time...

:) The One.

Coming to a city near you...

Tomorrow, I will be coming home, to my parent's house, briefly, to visit, and take Patches out for a few hours...

Actually, the main reason is that it is J's birthday next tues, and his parents really want to see him.

My Mom will be out of town, and my Sister is working all day tomorrow, and at 4 on Saturday...

Hopefully, on saturday, I can catch up with my old friend/coworker Nicole, who plans to go to Nait in January, and move to Edmonton in July!!!

I haven't seen her since my Great Grandmother's funeral, when I stopped in to say hello to her. I made her cry!!! So I intend to do it again!!!

Then, I will go home and see my Brother, my Father, and my beloved baby boy (dog) Patches!!

Either Saturday, or Sunday morning, I will go for a good walk with Patches, and hopefully I can convince some others to join... I miss my family a lot.

When I moved to the City of Champions, I expected to visit every second weekend, as well as talking a lot more on the phone, and visiting with the family I have up here... But it hasn't happened like that, and lo and behold, I am changing, just like the aura reading lady said I would. She stated to me that this upcoming year would be one of tremendous growth for me. So far, she lied, as I haven't grown even a millimeter since. Insert laughing here. :) I have, however, gained weight. It's hard to buy healthy when you are on such a restricted budget.

I have grown, spiritually, and emotionally, and I expect to do so even more.

But, irregardless (is that how you spell that???) I am doing good, and enjoy life mostly, although, as usual, I wish I could get out and exercise more... It's funny how I have so much less time here. Probably because I do my own shopping, do all the cleaning, do most of the, wait, all of the cooking. I swear these guys wouldn't eat if I weren't around. Men somehow can live off of bologna sandwiches and icheban noodles. How, I never want to know.

PLus, doing all of the extra driving that I do with this job, going all over the city to clean up and organize and price all of the different stores in this district.

Speaking of driving, my car needs an oil change, like a month ago. I think I will have one done before I leave tomorrow morning, otherwise my will never forgive me...

Gonna go to sleep now, get up early and drive...

Love ya Aunty M! Thanks for reading!

Talk to you all later,

City Girl.

I've been told

I have been told to write, right now!!!!

Apparently, it is extremely important that I write my little tidbits of crap...

Yeah, so since I haven't yet seen Theya, the newest Cub in the Aunty Chair Bear and Papa J Bear, I am pitifully trying to figure out when I will be able to!

I know already that she is beautiful, I have seen her pictures, and cannot wait to see those gorgeous little eyes, and hands and feet...

And into newer news, I am going to C L this weekend, in 2 days, yay!!!
I miss my seester, my brudder, my Mommy, my Daddy, and my puppy, Patches.

... I am so unsure of what to write, because I don't think anyone reads my random crap.

But if anyone out there has any suggestions and wants to get me started on anything...

Hint hint...

moi

Damn

I just lost a whole blog entry, trying to upload a picture... Maybe I will save before trying again.

Guess I will have to rewrite it all soon, but not yet, too tired and crampy, as you would have discovered had my previous entry worked.

Stupid computers that don't allow me to not lose information, or something.

I sound twelve right now, but that's okay. I just lost my whole page that makes me sound my own age.

Talk to you guys later...

moi.

Well, this is the new me.

I am now living in my new city, and have been for 3 months now...

I am presently at my boyfriends store helping to organize it because it is apparently a mess, says the head people at the company that he works for, which is a corporation that was bought out by a big American company...

They are causing problems, but at least his store's product on hand volume is going up from a B to an A. That's a very good thing, for him, for the company, for everything.

I can't wait to get home and upload some pix onto here... But until then, goodbye, and I cannot wait to write a storm of stuff...

Just like some of my Aunties are...

By the way, if and or when they read this, so you know, I really admire both of you, and really think about everything you both write. You are both very wise, and I aspire to become like you!

Monarch, you are an awesome Mom, and Chair, I know you will be.

Gonna go now.

Me.