Sitting around...

Today, I called in to work because I haven't been feeling well.

As a result of this miserable feeling, I ended up sleeping until 3 fricking p.m. I felt so bad about it, that I cleaned the kitchen, marinated the roast I had pulled out, and also thawed some bacon, maybe to have for supper tonite...

Je ne sais pas...

I mean, I don't know...

I have an overwhelming feeling to do the housewife thing. I want to stay home and clean, and cook, and then clean up the mess I made by cooking...

And then maybe babysit Chair's adoralicious baby, now available for viewing on her website.

I am not entirely sure what to do now...

I also think I want to go to school to become a teacher, and am trying to concentrate on not feeling nervous about it...

This is so stupid, I am 21 and not sure what I want to do, and scared to make any kind of decision. I feel that it is stupid, but have just been told that it isn't.

We are moving to a townhouse up in Clareview, NE Edmonton... there is LOTS of places to go for jobs, and random other schtuff...

As if that wasn't enough of a hint, I am going to be actively looking for another job.

Just can't make it with what I am making presently.

Oh, yeah. My 1990 Ford Tempo... STILL DEAD. We haven't been able to get it started, and Chris has spent many many hours trying. LOTS. To the point that I feel bad... And I want to kick the car. Again. I mean, I didn't kick it in frustration already, what are you talking about?

I still haven't had it towed, nor have I found a place I want to bring it to.

I have been taking the LRT to work, and sometimes Chris comes to pick me up.
The only part that sucks is the walk from work to the LRT station. It will be fine when it is warmer, but lately the wind is very, very cold. It cuts right through whatever I wear! I blame the open fields nearby, and lack of big tall buildings like I have become used to, living downtown where at night, I can't even see the top of nearby buildings as a result of the fog from the river!

It is beautiful. I love the river, and that will be the main thing I am going to miss. Especially in the spring. Go figure that is when we are moving. Oh, well. I can take the LRT down to visit it, I guess...

And I kind of feel bad that we are moving VERY NE from Central, when Chris just got promoted to a position based in VERY SE. We tested the drive, it is 26 kilometers, and almost 30 minutes, on a highway. He is going to have quite the commute. Twice a day.

I wish life was simpler. I think that is why I am reluctant to care about getting my car fixed. And I told my Mom to sell my other car, 2003 Cavalier. I love that car, it was my baby. And I REALLY did not want to let anyone else drive it, even my family, let alone sell it. But I have made a decision that I need to get rid of it to be able to go to school. I also need to decide to look at the calendars for the diferent schools, and maybe even ask my cousin Craig if I can follow him around for a day. I will feel really dumb doing it, but I have to suck it up. It would be a lot of fun, and I am sure that I will learn a lot...

Lots to think about.

I am going to go buy bread, and some veggies and potatoes, so I can make some good suppers around here.

I almost wish I was rich. But not really.

I was about to write that I wish I was better with money, but instead of that, I am going to consciously decide to just be better. I am going to put more money on my bills, and pack lunches, and also to buy and eat more frut and veggies, and less pop and McD.

I hope I will stay inspired long enough to remember this. I usually re-read my posts a few days later, so I probably will.

Hope everyone else out there had a great weekend.

Love, me.

My car has died.

I think it is as official as it can get now.

I have been trying to start my car since thursday evening when I went out to start it and it wouldn't turn over. Since that night, Chris has spent several hours trying to help me, including spending his entire Sunday fiddling around, trying to boost it, taking the battery out to warm up in the store, bringing it back out and hooking it up to the charger thing that we had out there, that I bought especially to try with this darn thing... It is a combination charger/booster, and it didn't work. I then took the LRT today to go out and try it again now that it is warm, and nothing... The battery seems to b fine, just the engine won't go. I wish I had some mechanic friends... I don't know what is wrong with it, and I am tempted to just say screw it, and ask my Mom to arrange to get my Cavalier to the city, and I will take it back instead.

I really want my Cavalier back anyway, maybe this is a sign.

I just don't understand why it refuses to turn over. It has been plugged in for two days straight, until of course my 'sometimes jerk of a boss' unplugged it today to hook up the new open sign, which he could have just gotten another plug thing for it... This was a few hours before I came down to the store... But it was so warm today that it shouldn't have mattered.

Yeah, so now, after spending too much time in the last week trying to get my damn car to work, and having Chris come out when he is already stressed out beyond stressed... I am in a pretty bad mood. I have been clenching my teeth all day, and now have a headache. I am going to go have a long hot bath, and read the Sylvia Browne book Mommy gave me for Christmas... which I totally cannot wait to finish! And then use the cool bookmark I also got in whatever I read next. I usually use a piece of tissue, so this will be a nice change!

So, Mom, if you are reading this, what are the chances of my being able to get my Cavalier back???

I will call to discuss!

Sigh. Time to destress.

C U L8R.

Thinking about my Boo...

For those who are unaware, Boo is the nickname I have for the dog I used to have. She passed away last March, struck by a truck. Unintentional rhyme, BTW.

Pookie, her name, was an awesome dog, friend...

She had a beautiful Soul.

I was just reading on my old website about her, and some other stuff...

http://geocities.com/blaine_b2003.com

Yeah. It doesn't feel like it, but I have lived in Edmonton for almost 6 months now!

We finally got our crap together and applied for the townhouse up NE. We hope to move in March 1st, or if they have an extra week to move in, that would also be great...

And, I am getting better at, and feeling more confident at work. Lots to learn, with 12000+ products, each slightly different than the last, and different prices, and specifiations...

Of course, it takes all kinds of customers to come in, and ask for all of these different things... Some know what they want, some have a very vague idea. I like the ones that need me to search and ask questions, and are patient enough to allow me to do it. That way it is something new, and I can learn!

Chris got promoted, AGAIN!!! Back in September, he moved to a larger store than that he previously ran, and by February, he will have an even larger one! He is an awesome Manager, and it is thanks to him that I have learned so much. It helps to have someone on the inside...


I have an incredible urge to go get Reiki, or acupuncture, acepressure, reflexology, or a reading of some sort done...

I feel like there is something that someone out there wants me to know. It is just outside of my grasp, and I don't know how to get it.

I don't think this makes very much sense, and considering the time, I am not surprised, but meh...

Going to go to sleep now...

Love, from E-town, where the LRT is still doing circles...

Me.

A long day...

Too long.

I am feeling kind of super ucky.

I am using the heating pad Mommy and Daddy got me for Christmas, (Thanks, It will be used lots!!!), and trying to stop grinding my teeth. Stressed out. Lots to do at work, and certain people don't do their job, because they are part time, and seem to have been raised into believing that women do all of the cleaning, and whatever else. This person also thinks they are above maintaining the store, like putting out product, and sales tags, and price tags...

Sigh.

Going to go have a bath now.

Me.

My boss is a poo poo head.

I am at work, and my ribs hurt from coughing, and sneezing, and trying to breathe.

My boss won't let me go home...

Maybe if I actually asked, he might let me go... I hope so. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep tonite, but not after taking my athsma thing, some echinacea, and some tylenol.

so much for not whining huh?

insert pause so bossman can read and object to the title...

my boss just said no. I refer to the title of this blog for the reason.

now he's trying to argue, saying he's only a half poo poo head.

Even the owner of the Extreme Pita said I should go home. She's nicer. And prettier, but I suppose my boss shouldn't be pretty...

I should make my boss sick, then tell him he has to come in...

Normally I would write about work on here, but this bossman doesn't really care what I say about him, including this. Besides, he knows I am joking.

Except for the being sick thing.

I want to go home, but he says I can't because then the guy who is coming in at 5.30 will be alone from 6.30 to 9.00.

Boo hoo, more sales for him.

Not like I get any at night anyway.

Blah.

I am presently watching a news report on the stories from the tsunami that recently destroyed large parts of Asia, and drastically altered many many lives. There are so many that were killed as a result of the massive waves, I am not sure how to feel about it.

Of course I pray for the families that are affected, and the survivors that are at risk for so many more problems, like disease, malnutrition, infection, lack of medical treatment.

It really has put my whining about my cold onto a back burner.

It's amazing to watch the news about all of the other weird weather going on. Am I the only one who thinks that it is like a domino effect? There are parts of Europe that are flooded, without power, so far 15 people dead. Could this not be a side affect of the massive tidal wave that has destroyed parts of the world? There is weird weather in Canada and the U.S. Again, without reason. I see a link. Every time there is a huge meteorlogical (spelling?) 'event', I can't help but think that the worldly aftermath is as a result.

There's flash flood warnis all over America. Last week there was horribly unexpected snow storms. People were dying in California, I think it was, where in one day they got like 9 feet of snow!!! That is insane. There is a new winter weather warning in Northern California. They are using an old Howitzer to avoid fatal avalanches!

England has flooding. There is Avalanches in Utah. Flooding in the US, the OHIO River.
Ice storm in NC Indiana.

If you tally up the lives that were lost in the time since the Day of the Tsunami, all over the world, I believe they are all connected. The rest of the world will be a large number alone, but the loss in Southern Asia alone is devastating. Add them together, and it is something they should consider.

When huge oceanic plates shift, causing a tsunami, is there really any wonder that it could cause world wide havoc...?

This is my random ramblings for today.

I am a little out of it today, so this post may not have had any real 'flow'. But that's okay. The Echinacea should help. I have a really bad cold, have had a sore throat, cough, aches, head ache, congestion, sniffles, sneezes...

It's a combination Chest and Head cold. It really sucks.

So this is why I won't be visiting my Aunt, Uncle and tiny little cousin, until I am 100% better.

I am going to go now though, and go visit Chris at work. He got called in because someone else didn't show up, again.

I think I will go find some Chicken Noodle soup while I am down there. The mall has some really good little restaurants, but I won't go to the Polka Cafe. I have heard that they discriminate against ethnic, and especially Native, People. I don't want to support that kind of thing, so I will avoid it altogether.

I may not look it, but I am part Native, French and Dutch. I am proud to be, and do not put up with that crap.

I just typically don't put up with crap, period. Espescially from people who treat other people like dirt.

Warning, I am a bit of a feminist. I like to think of myself as independant, strong, confident, and tend to intimidate. I find it funny if guys are a bit afraid of me. I strive to correct that if I notice it is like that, I would rather be approachable, a friend to these people...

But I will not put up with guys who are chauvinistic. I can do almost everything a guy can do, save for nature's restrictions, including my height, amongst other things. But guys can't do a lot of things women can. Although I wonder if they would want to .

Going to go now... tired and stuffed up and stuff to do...

I wonder if anyone actually reads this???

Good to be home...

...And then go home.

I was with my family from friday the 31st, to the morning of the 2nd. Since last year, you could say, hee hee...

I got to hang out with Patches, and go see Pookie's grave. It is so peaceful out there, I can't wait for summer to go visit for longer. It was too cold to stay for longer than 20 minutes, and I decided not to bring Patches, though he would have loved the walk, because the snow would have been deep enough, and it was cold enough, that even wrapped up in his sweater, he would have frozen his cute little paws in no time. Not to mention his other parts that I am sure he considers very important as well.

I had a great time in C. L., and relaxed a LOT!!!

Thank you, Mom, Dad, Sister, and Brother! I needed it. I didn't get to see much of my sister though, because she had to go back to work, and she works late shifts, and more than one job, so basically I haven't seen her this year. I had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve, though. Mom and Dad must have spent a lot of money on everything, because there was cheese and ham sausage, pepperoni, lots of fresh fruit, with a fruit dip, vegetables, beer, Dad's homemade wine, Champagne for midnight, and who could forget the fondue. We didn't, and don't really do the traditional cheese or chocolate. We fill the fondue pots with oil, and deepfry raw chicken, beef and pork. We also had cooked turkey, which we then battered in Dad's homemade batter, and cooked into childhood memory inducing Turkey Nuggets. Still just as good as when we were little. That was always my favorite part of any turkey leftovers. They still don't compare to Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, veggies, buns... oh, I am getting hungry.

Yeah, so needless to say, I ate A LOT!!!

I also helped myself to the Pot of Gold Chocolates that were laying around, and the other assorted junk food, and also probably needless to say, I feel like I have probably gained about 10 to 15 pounds, and I don't really care.

To me, the holidays are about spending time with my family and loved ones, and that is what I did. We hung out and talked and watched most of the first season of Corner Gas, a show that 'makes fun of Saskatchewan'. I feel it makes fun of Alberta too, and in a good way. I have noticed that most Saskatchewanites actually thoroughly enjoy the show, and have a great sense of humor, like Brent, from the show.

The trip home, well, I wish I could say it was uneventful. Jarrod's Parent's asked him to stay behind, and they would send him home on the bus later, and so he did. I think that as a result of this, and other contributing factors (leaving Cold Lake again, going back to Edmonton), I had an anxiety attack.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL READERS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
I started to get nervous at Jarrod's house, where we stopped to say goodbye, and I felt ill. After using the washroom, I decided it was definitely time to go, and because we hadn't yet eaten, we decided to stop and grab something on the way out.

I got a Chicken Noodle soup from Tim Horton's. Chris got some of those disgusting McGriddle things from McD's. We parked briefly to begin eating, until I decided that if we sat there any longer, (we had barely sat for 30 seconds) I was going to be sick, so we started to drive. I was tired, and continued to doze a few times, each time awaking feeling ill.

I hadn't yet eaten my soup, because I felt like it wouldn't stay down. That was a good thing, because I awoke, felt really warm, took off my jacket, and asked Chris to pull over. As he was slowing down, I begin to be ill, and thankfully it was only the milk I had before I left C.L. and acid, which really hurts, by the way.

The kind of weird thing, was I had a drink of water after, and it tasted very sweet. Kinda gross actually.

After continuing another few km's, we stopped to finish breaky, and I finally ate most of my soup. It really helped.

At Smokey Lake, I had a Del Monte Frozen Fruit bar. They are so good. Kind of expensive, but so worth it. They are always my 'Road-Trip-Treat'. I always get them from The Smoky Lake Shell, where we always stop.

We have tried to stop at the Fas Gas a few times, but they don't have them, as well as a lot of things, and for some unknown reason to me, I don't like going to the Esso.

And thus ends my anxiety attack. Something comfortable.

It is actually a lot worse thatn it sounds, and if you don't know what to do when someone is having one, it is entirely possible that you might drag it along and make it worse. Chris, I am not saying this about you, I am just stating this as an awareness for anyone who happens to be around anyone who may be having one.

Heads up: best things to say: 'It's okay', 'You're okay', 'It'll be okay'.

So definitely need to go for acupuncture. That really helped me out before I moved to Edmonton.

But I need to go get cleaned up, and meet Chris for lunch. It's my day off, and he's at work downtown.

So, I will talk to you later, after I try out my new Yoga mat, blocks, staps and DVD's!!!!

Thanks again Mom and Dad, Joy and Willy!

I'm going to go buy new clothes right now! (With the gift card from Joy and Willy!)

Thanks for a great weekend!

I Love you all very much!

Me. (The little Bratty Girl...)