It's a Stick?

Here's a thing that was posted on both of my aunt's websites, and 'sent' to me:

- Total number of music files on your computer?

umm, I don't own a computer, but Chris says before he met me, there was probably 13,000 between his two, some copies, and now he figures maybe 20,000. He copies a lot of discs, and we download sometimes.

- The last CD you bought was?

Avril Lavigne's second one, about a year ago. Put it this way, I had long since memorized all of the songs before my family's vacation in June?July?

- What is the last song you listened to before reading this message?

"Elevator muzak" Or at least that is what I call it. That is what was playing at work while I was still there an hour ago.

- Name five songs that you often listen to or mean a lot to you.

Sorry, I can't do just five. So here's my top ?__? songs, in order of which I remember them.

1- "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve or The Verve Pipe - I don't know which, it goes by both names sometimes...? Because it brings out the passion in me for life, and all things in life.

2- "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls. Because I love it. It is sad, but uplifting at the same time.

3- "The Reason" by Hoobastank, because it has the potential to make me cry and sing at the same time.

4- "Take On Me" by A-Ha, because it is the song that is connected to my earliest memory: My Father, sister and I were sitting in the waiting room of a hospital, and we were there to bring my brother home for the first time. Unfortunately, I cannot remember if my Mother came home that day too, or if she remained in the hospital. This song was playing on the radio. I figure that I only remember this so specifically because as I was growing up, the song was played hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of times, and I kept remembering the day in the hospital. I remember one of us girls commenting on how red he was. Probably my sister. She could probably talk more than me at that age. I would have been 2 years, 7 months and 5 days old on the day my brother was born. My sister was 5 years, 2 months and 17 days old. This is the kind of thing I like to figure out when I am bored...

5- "My Immortal" by Evanescance" because it is a great, soul stirring track.

6- "My Way" by Limp Bizkit. Because I always liked it, and a few years ago, my sister dubbed it my song in regards to my mother, because I was such a stubborn and rebellious teenager. (Mom, Dad, I love you and respect you so much for the way you raised me!!! I am sorry for the stress and worry, and probably grey hairs that I caused you. Please feel free to fill my (future) children with sugar before bringing them home to me as payback. I will understand.)

7- "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilara, because I love her voice, most of the time, and this song makes me feel how I think all women should feel about their appearance: proud and happy. (not to mention satisfied, too many of us are controlled by our ever present thoughts of how we are not good enough compared to (fill in the blank). I have to say that I hate that about us women.

8- "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica. Just cause I like it.

9-" The Unforgiven" by Metallica. Because it reminds me of certain periods in my past, back when everyone else told me, that I was doing something wrong, that I shouldn't have been with who I was. But I learned a lot, and I still care for that person a lot, but more for who he was than who he is now. I am sure that most of my family realizes to whom I am referring. And if he is reading, I am sure he also realizes it is he I speak of.

10- "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. Who hasn't slow danced to this song? Seriously. I have loved it since I first heard it. And yet, I can honestly say, and write that I have never, EVER, done any illegal drugs. Typically, so I hear, this was a hit among drug users. I had good friends that did, and they were great about not pressuring me, and once I declined, actually going out of their way to ensure I was not exposed. Fot that, I am glad.

11- "Hurt You So Bad" by CrazyTown, because it reminds me of who I was at one point, and what I had done to other people. It makes me feel guilty, and almost ashamed, but not really at the same time, because I am now me The Way I Like Me. And I had to get here somehow.

12- "I Just Want You" by Ozzy Osbourne, because it is another that reminds me of my past, and it brings me down to earth a little bit.

13- "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, because, DAMN they have some great songs. The three here are more ballads than rock songs. But they still rock.

14- "Love You To Death" by Type o Negative. See #'s 9,11,12,13 for explanation.

15- "Children" by Robert Miles, because it relaxes me.

16- "Lucky(in my life)" by Eiffel 65, because it's true, and I do 'thank you for this life', stolen from the song which is... now playing. I feel like I have been very lucky. Sure, I take a pill daily to keep from going all screwy, and I am a little overweight, and I have recently lost some people who were dear to me, and I don't have a job I love, and I live everyday knowing that I was the last person to touch Pookie alive, but I still have led a very happy, good life. I have my family, and they all have always supported me, and I cannot express in words how much I love them all, because even to try would make me cry, and is making me tear up right now. I have always had more than what I needed. On a side note, I have realized, thanks to the discussion I had with the lady that did a reiki treatment on me last month, that to continue to feel guilty about Pookie's death is only going to hold her back, that I need to let the guilt and with it, her, go. And it shocked me when she said that. But only because it is true. And I have let her go. I still miss her terribly, though. I will never again meet an animal that will teach me, and give me, so much. Besides Patches, who was a gift from Pookie.

17- "A Horse With No Name" by America. I grew up listening to this, and found it on CD, and love it still. Actually, any and all of my Father's records constitute one of my favorite songs. This is just one I can name. this song used to make us kids hyper, because we would dance around and sing along to it. It was fun. Great memories.

18- "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlin (did I spell that right?) because it is such a great song. I would love to see her in concert.

19- "A Day Without Rain" by Enya, because I love this music too!!!

20- "The World I Know" by Collective Soul. It was a very passion inducing, and inspiring song, that makes me cry. There is a version of this song, where they took clips of WTC 911 calls, and commentary, and put it in there, and I have to stop what I am doing everytime I hear it. I have a copy of it, so...

I am going to stop there, because there's better things to do.

- Which 3 people are you going to pass this stick to and why?

... Are they supposed to have a website to post it on? The only people I know who have websites, have already done this... so... I guess I will send it to:
1- Chris, because I don't send him enough stuff.
2- My Mom, because she is an amazing woman and Mother.
3- Nicole, because she's a great friend, with an awesome daughter.

Wow, I wrote a lot.

Life is good.

I am considering quitting my job, because I am sick of the way I am treated sometimes, and the atmosphere is not the best.

First of all the temperature makes it so that I have basically been sick since I started working there, even though I take (daily) a Women's One a Day Multi-Vitamin, B-50 Complex Vitamin, Calcium, and a Vitamin C or two. I basically work in a fridge. Seriously. 4 hours out of my 7 hour shift is spent in the cooler, setting up 5 pallets to be sent to other stores. This means I put packaged cut meat in trays, and stack the trays on pallets, and if I have time to, i label and wrap them, which is a very dizzying job. I know that isn't a word, but seriously, let';s see you wrap 5 pallets with a roll of thick saran wrap, and still walk straight and feel fine. Oh, and it's cold where you do this...

Second of all, some of the people are REALLY NEGATIVE, like a lot.

Third, I feel like no one there likes me. They are just so 'clique-y' that I feel like I am working in Middle-age-meets-high-school-hell.

Plus, it is only technically part time, 28 hours a week. 7 hour shifts, 4 times a week. I like the extra days off, until bills show up.

I am going for an assessment on monday to apply to work for an inbound call centre that provides customer service for two cellular companies in the United States. Technically, the call centre reps live in Washington D.C., or that's what they tell customers.

Because it is unionized, I may keep my present job, but with even less hours.

I haven't done my taxes yet and they are due by tomorrow. I will do them before bed tonight: I have Quicktax. Helps a lot!!! Also have to clean my apartement. Going to go do that now, I think.

Going to go now. Have to get my stuff done.

Wow, I sure do go on, this is 4 pages in Microsoft word. That's how I make sure I never lose another blog entry in the midst of typing it!!!

It is so hard

to get motivated, stay motivated, and then be happy with the big mess that is a partially finished organised house...

I was very motivated, but apparently life didn't seem to notice, or care, that I wanted to get it all done.

On the first of my two days off, Life threw at me The Challenges of Chris's Job. Also known as more b.s. for him to deal with. Whilst getting ready to do some running around, he got a phone call from another manager saying he needed his help to round up a bunch of portable dvd players from all of the other store within the city (and Sherwood Park), for a big sale that needed the product by that evening.

To be exactish, it was 44 portable dvd players, a $10700.00 sale.

Chris being Chris, and his job being what it is, he was forced to oblige, and so we went all over the East side, picking up handfuls of them. We then delivered them to the place where the customer was waiting, at an ad agency that had a client that was going to give them out as safety awards!!!

Remind me to find out if my company does that. And if not, maybe find out which company paid for these...

ANY way, we then had a bunch of running around to do, for my dead car... Got it towed, and the tow truck driver, who was an ex-mechanic, checked it out a little bit, and said he thought the engine was seized. He figured it would be a waste of money to bring it to Cnanadian Tire, but seeing as how it wasn't our decision anymore, we did it anyway.

CT said the same thing: seized. So we then got estimates for used, and rebuilt motors, and labour, and let Chris's Dad know, and he decided to go with the used motor, only 110 km.

I am glad that the car will be useful to someone now. I was going to sell it or junk it soon anyway.

I just hope after all of this that it will pass inspection in Saskatchewan.

Back to my original thought: I was destracted by a lot of little things from getting my place cleaned the first of my two days off, and the second was better, but not great.

I got a lot of stuff done, and sorted a lot, but still have to find time to 'finesse' the place up. Get rid of recyclable stuff (It's so great to live near a recycling center, if you can call a row of dumpsters that.), pack away more stuff to be stored, pack up more stuff to be given away, find room to store temporarily all of the stuff I can't throw out.

And I have amountain of laundry to finish putting away!!!

TOO. MUCH. CAN'T SLEEP!

ARGGGH!!!

:) just kidding, it's not that bad, I just get frustrated easily with some things: cleaning house, laundry, exercise, weight management...


So I am very VERY undecided about how I feel about, and whether or not I like my new job.

OOh, sirens. I wonder where the fire, or accident is?

I don't hear those nightly, no, not at all...

It's actually worse than downtown here for sirens, but we live only three blocks from the police station, and very close to major routes, and intersections, so I can't say I am overly shocked.

OH CRAP!!!

I just realized I haven't done my taxes yet. Oopsy.

Need to get list of prescriptions from SDM, so I can figure out how much more the government owes me...

Gonna go now, need to get some sleep for my early shift tomorrow, after which I will be helping Chris with his inventory... 1,2,3,4. 4 of those... 1,2. 2 of those... It'll be great!

I like counting. I am one of the few people who look forward to inventory...

Yes, yes, I am weird, thanks for noticing...

The good the bad and the messy...

The good was the bbq'd pork sirloin chops we had for dinner last night... my mouth is watering just thinking about them...

The bad, was my day today. The cleaner called in sick today, so on top of all of my other duties tonight, I had to do a large portion of a job that isn't mine... including washing, rinsing, sanitising and stacking 200 yellow bins that the meat cutters put all of the meat in for the wrappers to wrap.

It stunk, literally. I have a new respect for the guys who do the cleaning. AND I think I will refuse to ever do it again, on top of everything else.

The messy is my apartment, which still has boxes all over, and I need to finish unpacking. Thank goodness I have the next two days off!!! I swear, to myself, that I will get it done by friday morning.

I am feeling very motivated, and optimistic about gettting my place clean, so hopefully I willl wake up feeeling the same way.

I went and saw the Hostage with Chris a few nights ago, OH MY GOD!!!! SUCH A GREAT MOVIE!!! IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT GOING TO SEE IT, IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!
I don't think I have seen such a great movie, in a long time!!!

And I watched the movie CLoser the other day, with Jarrod, the movie with Julia Roberts... what a screwed up movie... I need to watch it again to understand exactly what the hell the plot is supposed to be....

And I am supposed to watch Ocean's 12 soon, so I will let people know how it was afterwards... Chris rents too many movies.

Gotta go.

Hey mom if you read this, can I have your recipes for beef barley soup, and ham soup (the one with cabbage)

I have a LOT of leftovers, and I froze a lot of stuff, and need to make some room in the freezer so I can actually make ice cubes.... How pathetic is that!!!

Ooh, and also your banana bread recipe, mine haven't been turning out all that great, so I was wondering if I am missing something...

Life is good.

Blaine

I have been informed

That I haven't updated here since my first day at my new job...

So here's what is new with me.

I recently went down to Cold Lake, in preparation for going to St. Paul on last Sunday for my (step) grandfather's funeral. He passed away last week, after a long battle with heart problems, diabetes, and most recently discovered, cancer. He was in a lot of pain because of the cancer, and they allowed him to have as much morphine as he wanted. I guess he was in and out of consciousness, I don't really know, I never got to visit him to say goodbye.

I was thinking about him a lot on his last day, while my sister visited him. I think his spirit knew I was thinking about him, and I feel like I was able to say that I loved him, and goodbye, because I felt so... what word works here... um, spiritually connected... all day. I was so not paying attention to what I was doing at work that day, that I smashed my hand between one of the meat carts, full of meat, and a stack of trays. It only brought me back briefly enough to look at the blue welt, and then forget about it.

So I do feel like I was able to say goodbye to him, even though not in person. And I am glad that he didn't suffer anymore.

I am also very glad that my sister told him the things she did. Apparently when she entered his hospital room, he basically said that he could tell he was dying because she had come to visit. She told him, whenever he was ready to go. That he didn't have to wait for us all to visit, that we would understand. That we loved him.

I am glad he didn't try to hold out any longer.

It didn't really hit me until at his funeral, my Aunt went up to say her Eulogy, one of several that were said. Everyone else told stories of John's youth, and we didn't know him then, but it was good to hear. Chair said more about his generosity, and personality, from when we knew him, and it made me start bawling, pretty much, because it finally clicked in.

I found that it was amazing that pretty much no one on our side of the room during the ceremony was really crying until Charity read her eulogy, and broke down herself. That pretty much finished us all off, and I could see tears in all of teh family's eyes.

After we brought out the Urn with his ashes in it out to the car, most everyone went back inside, and I kind of stood there crying, and my sister and I hugged my Grandma, and, I started to cry more.

I think John's 'other' family found it weird that we put nibs (the long strings of them) into his grave, along with the checker board, and other things that belonged to him. Everytime we went out to visit them, John had a stash of the nibs, and would bring them out for us to eat, and so they were a way of remembering him.

Man, if I had had the amount of money needed to buy it, I would have bought his and my Grandmother's old place off of them. It was so beautiful, I don't know how many acres, but it was so so georgeous, the paths, and the 'lake' that was usually muddy, but was still full of wildlife. The gardens out there were huge, and I think I wouldn't have been able to find the time, energy, or talent to keep them up.

But I still would have liked to be able to get up every morning a go for a walk on those paths. Back when Pookie was alive, she loved it, and taught her babe, Patches to love it too. Unfortunately, no one has the time to take Patches out for good long runs, and I wish I lived closer, because I would...

I have even thought of offerring to Mom And Dad to take him for a week every now and again, so I can take him out for good long walks here in Edmonton, but I don't know how he would react to being left here... especially alone while we're at work. We pretty much work different shifts, so I think there would be someone home always when he would be here, but I still don't hink my parents can live without him at home. It would be too weird for that house to not have a dog.

On another note, I saw my friends Jim and Nicole on Saturday night! First time I have seen Nicole since she was in Edmonton, and Jim, since I worked with him on his last day at the Pub...

I cried a little bit...

I will admit it.

I missed them.

Man, I would quit my job in a flash if they moved to Edmonton, and wanted to start a catering company with me, or a restaurant.

I can guarantee without a shadow of a doubt, if Jim came to Edmonton to work, and offerred me a job, it would be really hard to refuse... and I don't know if I could.

And then I would go to Cold Lake, kidnap Nicole and her daughter, and bring them up here and force her to work with us!!! Just kidding, but it's nice to dream.

Going to go now, have to keep unpacking... my house is a mess.

I am glad you are at peace, John Harris. We will always remember you. Stash some Nibs up there for when we eventually come to see you.

(I know it's a little morbid, and I don't care).

Always, Blaine.