A little bit

 freaked out.
 
Went to the doctor today for a somewhat overdue check up and am going to the hospital tomorrow morning to get some blood work done.
 
Um... anybody who doesn't want to know too much about me should skip the next few paragraphs...
 
I have had irregular periods for awhile - few years now - and was even advised to talk to my doc about it from someone who has had similar symptoms and was diagnosed with something that I think (emailed to confirm) is the same thing.
 
So... Here's what my doc is testing for:
 
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
 
Symptoms include:
 

infrequent menstrual periods, no menstrual periods, and/or irregular bleeding   (Have) 

infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating  (Don't know)

increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes—a condition called hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um) (DON'T HAVE - that I know of...)

ovarian cysts (Don't know yet)

acne, oily skin, or dandruff (somewhat yes, yes and maybe a little bit)

weight gain or obesity, usually carrying extra weight around the waist (hmmm... Yeah, I got that...)

insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes (Don't know - being tested)

high cholesterol (Don't know - being tested I think)

high blood pressure (Normal)

male-pattern baldness or thinning hair (Not that I'm aware of...) 

patches of thickened and dark brown or black skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs (Ummm... no. Got some moles, tho. They look normal according to the doc.) 

skin tags, or tiny excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area (Yup. Started when I was a teenager... hmmm...) 

pelvic pain (YUP. randomly throughout the month, too. No pattern.)

anxiety or depression due to appearance and/or infertility (I've come to terms with how I look, I like everything except the extra weight, BUT I am not depressed about it. If I found out I was infertile, I'd be crying for weeks. That scares the crap out of me.) 

sleep apnea—excessive snoring and times when breathing stops while asleep (I'll have to ask Chris about this one. I don't think I snore, but the stopping breathing thing... I do that sometimes when I'm awake. Sort of. I think.)

 
After reviewing the above symptoms, my first thought is "F.U.C.K."
 
I know that until I hear from the doctor, worrying is absolutely useless. But I sure can't help it. This is why I avoided even going to the doctor way back in, uh, 2005... It's really ironic thinking. I'm scared I will be told I can't ever have kids, and yet, I postpone the trip to the person who may be able to fix it if it comes to that. All the while knowing that any type of problem like this that comes up is ALWAYS better when it's caught early.
 
Sometimes I do really stupid things.
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ANYWAY.
 
Onto better news.
 
Today I went to see The Guy From The Jasper Hotels We Are Looking At To Have The Wedding At. (Or TGFTJHWALATHTW for 'short'.)
 
Got some confirmation about the ceremony and reception locations... They're ours! Yay!
 
We haven't signed the contract, BUT I have a copy of the contract with me, to review, and we can fill it out/sign and fax or email it to him!
 
Yay!
 
So, we are a few steps closer...
 
I was complimented a few times today, and felt so good about them I wanted to post about them. Just 'cause I can.
 
My doctor (while discussing past history and medications and my lack of being on birth control pills) after I said that I've wanted to have kids for as long as I can remember, told me that I look like a mom. Then he back tracked a lot, and told me to not get upset. (!?!?! Apparently he's had a lot of people take offense to that comment, as he explained.) He said he wasn't sure how else to say it, then he sort of came up with it, and said that what he meant was that I seemed like the caring type.
 
Later on, I was told by TGFTJHWALATHTW that I was very organized, and 'on the ball'. He said that because I was so calm, and making sure the little things are worked out early made his job really easy. He said that meeting with me is a pleasure and that I am very easy to work with!
 
Maybe now, but when I'm stressed out the week before the wedding might be a different story.
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I've got a bunch of photos I need to go through and organize and upload, and some videos of Chris working that I'd like to upload, too.
 
:)

Craig & Gen's wedding HAKA MAORI finally uploaded!

OK, I know it's been over 2 months, and I apologize!
 
BUT, I think it was well worth the wait. I have uploaded pictures of the wedding here:
 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theanykey/sets/72157603024659817/
 
And, drum roll please... I finally figured out how to get into youtube (use a different email address!),
and as I know you've been waiting long enough:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YoDdrzmvNE
 
Again, I am sorry it took so long, I hope you all enjoy it!
 
Love, Blaine

 
 
 

Got pix posted... finally

Sorry about the late posting, C&G... and Mel.
 
I will have to figure out my youtube login to upload the Haka Maori... :)

Not making it to Cold Lake

Even with the new tires, I just can't get past the feeling in my gut saying to not go.
 
I will probably try again before Christmas.
 
Besides the $$$ factor, there's a million little things adding up that just make me uneasy. The risk of freezing rain for the beginning half and the last quarter of the trip to Cold Lake (and the likelihood that it will remain the same forecast for the return trip doesn't help) really scares me. Last year on a trip to Cold Lake, Chris was driving, I was trying to snooze, and out of nowhere, we hit a patch of black ice, and the car turned sideways. Literally. While we were going about 100 km/hr - I think, I wasn't exactly keeping track - which is slower than the speed limit.
 
It made me sit up super quick, and started to freak out. After we felt it might be safe to, I had Chris pull over and I broke down. It sucked. After that, I was terrified the whole trip.
 
So, all things considered, I decided it's safer to stay put, clean the house, get some long-awaited pictures uploaded (C+G), and some other stuff done.
 
While I'm not indulging in the craziness that is NoBloPoMo, I plan to post again this weekend because I'll have a lot to say! After I get some of the things done, I will have a lot to tell you. So check back later on.
 
:) Sorry I won't see you this weekend.
 


 

 
 
 

Just need bridesmaid dresses now...

Well... As some of you know, the dress shopping went very well. VERY WELL!

 

Steph found a dress in 3. Mine was 5th. But I left and then decided I had to go back, I wanted it, couldn't stop thinking about it!

 

It was a wonderful weekend, but I am still very glad to be home. The city is so loud, so busy... too many people. I'm not used to people. At all, anymore, really!

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Obviously, I won't be posting pictures of the dress shopping experience simply because of the potential fiance leak factor... Meaning that Chris or Todd might get their hands (eyes?) on them!

 

Maybe I will blur out everything but the faces, so I can at least show how happy we all were. And it was so much fun!

 

We went around picking out dresses and just put clips on the hangers, then got shown to our rooms and we met with our individual consultants. It was super fancy, but at the same time, very laid back and relaxing.

 

My consultant was named Julie, and was wonderful. She was knowledgeable, answered all of my questions, responded to all of my concerns thoughtfully and even suggested I try on styles I outright decided that I did not like, so that I know for sure. (This, of course is after she asked why I didn't want to try on any strapless gowns. I just assumed that a strapless would mean I'd be pulling up the gown all day/night long, and she explained how it would support, and how it should fit. She brought one over that she thought I might like, and I loved it, it was comfortable and glorious, but not right for me. I was still expecting to be too self conscious about my arms and that weird little 'pouch' that magically appears when you put on a strapless dress. And, pending my ability to lose weight/tone before the wedding, I didn't want to be disappointed/unhappy with how I look/feel on my wedding day.)

 

Either way, the dress I chose suits me perfectly, I think, and considering everyone else's reaction when I was stepped out of the change room…

 

Well, for a while it was between 2 dresses, until Mel pointed out (THANK YOU!) that the dress I chose only looked second because of the color difference. White made me look washed out, and it was white. Very white. So, I pictured the white dress in the colour of the other one, and couldn't stop thinking about it. So, after we dicided to think about it, I wanted to go back.

 

And now I can't stop thinking about it. I also have another problem. I share everything with Chris. It's killing me to hold back and not tell him every detail about the dress, show him pictures…

 

But he's said that he doesn't want to know, see or hear anything about it until The Day.

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It has been very, very windy around here lately, and it seems the planning of my workplace did not take that into consideration. I've been somewhat forced to walk from the office to the bays with my eyes closed.

 

Something else I re-discovered: a Strong gust of wind can blow your eyelashes around so that they tickle the tops of your eyes. It's kind of cool.

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Warning: Somewhat selfish sounding rant ahead.

 

After trying to keep our house somewhat reasonably clean, I am looking more and more forward to the days I get off. However, I am feeling stressed, because I know that if I spend all of this weekend cleaning, I won't have fully relaxed, and I can't count on next weekend to catch up on relaxing, because I will be driving 7 hours on Thursday (8^th) and another 7 hours on the 11^th, in time to go back to work.

 

The weekend after I have plans to travel to Edmonton to hang out with Jarrod for his birthday for the whole Saturday, even though his birthday isn't actually until the following Friday… I just figured I would leave him his actual birthday so he can go to Cold Lake, or whatever.

 

So it will most likely be at least 3 weeks before I can have a weekend to myself, at home, doing nothing. So I am afraid I've wasted all of last night, and all day today.

 

I have been afraid to start cleaning too much, lest I use up all of 'my' time and end up stressed all week.

 

Chris was supposed to be home tonight after the yard job, and he was going to refuse (it's complicated, but he would have been allowed to) to work on Sunday. So we could spend the day together.

 

At around 5 p.m. he called to tell me he was about to go out on a coal train, meaning he'd get home around 9 a.m. tomorrow.

 

Needless to say, I am a little disappointed, but he wasn't feeling well earlier this week and so he took time off, and I expect he's trying to make up the time on this trip (which will definitely do it). I just wanted to spend the weekend with him, and I know he thinks we still can, but with him getting home at 9 a.m. ish, it means he will be sleeping/exhausted tomorrow, and it would be hard for him to have a good day if he tries to stay awake when he should sleep.

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I have plans to upload a bunch of pictures, I've gotten them ready, I just need to sit down and upload them… So they will be uploaded within a reasonable timeframe.

 

J

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I've finally gotten into contact with the company that owns the bunch of hotels in Jasper that we've been looking at, and it looks like they have no bookings at all for the week we want to get married.

 

The representative said that the location we want for the ceremony is as good as ours, but that he might have some trouble getting the place we want for our reception, because they advertise it as the lounge for the hotel in the summer months. (I assume it's also the lounge in the winter.) I emailed back that I plan to reserve a block of rooms for all of my guests to reserve if they decide to, and so I hope that that will help sway their decision. If half (?) of the hotel is booked by our guests, there won't be as many complaints about the lounge's inaccessibility.

 

I hope to meet with them by the 15^th, and find out how much of a deposit we'll need to put down.

 

J J J J J J J J