Ow. and now what?

Went to doctor's this a.m. because been getting sharp burning excruciating pain in lower right abdomen.

Is MUCH worse at work, after standing for awhile or lifting anything with any decent weight to it.

Don't know what to do now:

Thank god doc says it doesn't sound/seem like hernia - he pressed on spots in my lower abdomen and made me cough - apparently that the test?

Figures I strained a muscle, and wants me to take it easy to prevent it from getting worse/tearing.

Doc wanted me to take next 3-5 days off to rest. Told him I JUST started back at this job and that taking extra time off at Christmas is not likely to be a good idea. (Work everyday except 25th and 29th. After which I have no idea what my next day off will be.)

I negotiated light duty instead, and so he wrote a note saying I am not supposed to lift any more than 5 pounds, and need to be able to take sitting breaks as needed.

He wanted me to do my job sitting, but not exactly possible. I would be useless and slow, and I would be better for the company if I just took the time off instead.

Man, if I had enough hours to start my maternity leave soon, I would. But I need another 150 or so.

I don't think there's any position in the grocery store that would be light enough duty for me to do, nor would there be anyone to cover the 29 hours I am supposed to work the next 5 days (not including the 25th. Including 5 today.).

I know from working previously and having to take time off/light duties due to obvious medical issues that my boss won't be happy, and in fact will demand an explanation of exactly what the note means.

"Blaine should be on light duties for the next 3 to 5 days. No lifting > 5 lbs. Sitting breaks as needed."

I'm pretty sure it's pretty clear.

I can't lift. I have to go slow and take it easy, and will most likely need a packer at my till during my entire shift. MEANING: boss will be bitchy. Really bitchy.

Have to leave for work in... about 20 minutes, and not sure what to tell my boss besides: "guess what? I'm here to ruin your Christmas."
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Here's where I have an issue with this.

I don't mean to sound like I have an ego, but I always feel, at almost any job, that I am the hardest working one. I find things to do if there isn't anything going on. I figure out ways to make things more efficient. I KNOW that when I worked at the IGA before, I was by far the quickest cashier, knew all of the codes, packed people's groceries the best way (wasn't stupid and put a loaf of break in next to a pineapple - UNLESS REQUESTED TO, which happens.)

People came to my till because they knew I was quicker and wouldn't screw it up. I also know that most of the other people I worked with were 'temps' who took the job because they wanted money, but didn't want to work, and usually quit within a few weeks, maybe a few months.

It is really hard for me to slow down. I have been trying to the last two days because this pain has been excruciating, and yesterday it took about 6 hours for it to go away, after my shift, by far worse than the first day.

My issue isn't the pain, though. It's in my head. If I slow down, I feel like I am wasting these people's time, because I know I could go faster, used to go faster. I feel like I am slacking, and if I have to have a packer at my till for every. single. order. I am going to feel like an idiot.

I know I am pregnant, and there are things I can't do anymore. It's just REALLY HARD for me to accept it, and going to be very difficult to practice what the doctor preached.

I know it will get a little slower after Christmas and New Year's are over, but after that point I am going to have to slow down anyway, because my belly is starting to make it hard to walk around and do things like I used to. (What the hell is it like at 8 months if at 6 months I am already having trouble?)

Internal conflicts suck.



***Oh, and doctor told me to take Tylenol ("BUT NOTHING ELSE") for the pain, but I think that would do more damage than good. I would probably end up 'feeling better' and working through the numbed pain, and make problems that much worse.

Thanks, but no thanks, I will gladly feel the pain. Especially if it prevents more pain.***