Letter to the Baby

Dear Baby,

There is still 2 weeks and five days until your estimated due date, and your father and I could not be more excited.

I think we are as ready as we can be, this has been a long journey, and yet it has gone by so fast. I hope to write you letters (I know some people will know where this is inspired from, I think it is a beautiful idea.) but don't know what to expect, because, well, it all depends on you! We may be so preoccupied that we will forget about the idea until you're having your own babies. Who knows.

The day we found out we were pregnant with you, I will always remember. After a trip to Cold Lake to visit my side of the family, and to have our wedding shower, we headed home and arrived late at night. We got everything brought in the house and unloaded, of all things, a washer and dryer! It was about midnight, almost one o'clock in the morning on July 21st, 2008, and we finally were getting ready to head to bed. I decided to take a pregnancy test, since there was a chance I could be pregnant.

I set it aside for a minute, glanced back, did a double take and yelled for your father. Literally. I had always thought I would be able to come up with a great way to tell him, writing a letter, or something clever that we would remember forever. Apparently not. He found out after I yelled "CHRIS!!!" and crankily headed into the bathroom to see what was going on.

I told him there was two lines. He asked what that meant. In absolute shock, I told him I thought we were pregnant, and the change in his face was instantaneous.

From then on, the rest of the pregnancy has been a whirlwind. Of everything!

We had been planning our wedding for about 10 months before we found out we were pregnant, and got married on the 8th of August. It was made even more exciting because we knew that you were on your way, to take us from Newlyweds to New Parents, all in the same year!

Although we didn't know this specific reason until the technician told me in the middle of it, we went for an early ultrasound, on August 15th, because the doctor thought the pregnancy was ectopic. We thought we were around 10 weeks, and were expecting you to arrive March 14th! Our due date was changed to the 27th after the ultrasound. We were glad to see that you looked healthy and everything was okay.

I had morning sickness from about the 7th week, until about 13 or 14 weeks. It was terrible. I was extremely nauseous all morning, couldn't stomach the thought of eating anything, and then at some point, usually between 12 and 2 p.m., I would be sick. I would feel quite a bit better not long afterward, especially if I ate something right away. If I didn't eat, though, the nausea would come back.

Dehydration was an issue for me, too. In the early months, the nausea and limited eating meant I was barely drinking, too, and I ended up having to go to the hospital ER from work, and they had to pump me full of IV fluids to get me feeling better. After that point, I was drinking a lot of powerade to try to keep hydrated in between being sick.

I felt so much better after the morning sickness went away, but still not great, since I was working night shifts at the time. The doctor told me he wanted me to switch to regular hours or find another job, since I wasn't doing very well at all. I left that job, found another with a previous employer and worked there for a few months, long enough to realize that being on my feet for eight hours was not going to be feasible with my growing belly, the ligaments and muscles were not used to supporting the extra weight vertically, so it was excruciating. I can only imagine what those shifts would have felt like as I got even bigger!

We had received as a wedding gift, a certificate towards a stay at a beautiful resort in Banff, and we went in October, as a mini honeymoon. It was beautiful and we both had a great time. The place we stayed at was a great outdoorsy place, there wasn't even television or phones in the rooms, which is pretty rare these days. We had a great time, spending actual time together, and it made us feel even more lucky to have one another, and to be expecting you!

For so long, I felt little fluttery movements, like butterflies in my belly, but very distinctly 'different'. (SO not just gas!) At long last, I felt the first kick, the first real 'hey, I'm in here'! I was blown away, and basically always distracted from that point on, every time you moved!

The first time we saw you on the second ultrasound, on October 31st, we were blown away. It was amazing to see how much you had grown, and the difference from the first one to the second one was huge! You were moving around like crazy during that ultrasound and the technician said she rarely sees that much movement! You were moving around so much, that we ended up having to book another ultrasound, the technician couldn't get pictures of your face and head! We did get told you are a boy, and we were very excited about that, but didn't tell anyone right away, since I didn't really see it and wanted to confirm at the third ultrasound.

Our third ultrasound, on November 24th, you were sound asleep the whole time so the technician got the pictures she needed easily, but of course had your legs crossed, so we couldn't confirm your gender like I had wanted to. The technician was very certain when she told us, and your father had seen the screen more clearly, so I was over 95% convinced you are a boy, and we told everyone. Finally. :)

We've been planning the nursery and getting ready for a long time. One of the first things we did after getting pregnant (besides making a doctor's appointment and buying prenatal vitamins) was checking out prices for all of the furniture we needed. We are very lucky, and have been given a lot of things as gifts from very generous family and friends. Your room has been mostly ready for a few months, and your father and I both got the nesting instinct a few weeks ago and finally got it completely ready.

The range of emotions I've gone through has been immense, from shock to amazement to disbelief, and even being terrified and panicking! Your father, however, hasn't really gone through anywhere near the same reactions! I kept waiting for him to panic, and he just stayed calm and happy, after the initial shock wore off! I know exactly the moment that he will react, and that will be the first time he holds you, the first time you grab his finger, the first time you look him straight in the eyes and smile.

The shock of 'we're going to have a baby' and 'oh-my-god we're going to be parents' didn't really start to wear off for me, until about 7 or 8 months, and after that turned into pure excitement. There's 19 days left, and it's all I can think about!

Lately, you've gotten so big that my stomach is much smaller, I can barely eat half a meal, and get regular heartburn. I've been drinking milk, for the most part, to keep the heartburn settled, and it usually works, at least long enough to eat something. On the really bad days, I eat some Tums, and so far, haven't had to try anything stronger. According to old wives' tales, heartburn means you'll be born with hair, but we'll see!

Sleeping is a challenge every night now, although it got complicated months ago! As soon as my belly started to grow, it became very difficult to turn over, and since I was a stomach sleeper before I got pregnant, it was hard to get used to sleeping on my side comfortably. Now, at 37 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I get up AT LEAST 2 times nightly, usually 3, to go to the washroom, and while I am up, usually have a drink of milk, since it helps me to get to and stay asleep.

It is quite the workout to turn over now, I am certain I wake up your father every time I do, but he denies it, so either he doesn't remember, or it's only momentary.

The last month or so I have been getting Restless Leg Syndrome at night, I end up having to have a warm bath and go to bed immediately afterward to be able to get to sleep. I don't mind, since I like having baths, anyway, but it's getting harder and harder to get out without slipping!

Your kicking has gotten stronger, although you are definitely kicking much less than you did before. The other day, you gave me three sharp kicks to the rib, they were excruciating! Before you could kick the fourth time, I pushed my fingers into my belly to block my ribs and you ended up kicking my fingers. The swooshing across my belly has gotten to be less often, too, I think you are running out of room! The doctor told me you are head down, which I had already kind of figured out when I could feel your foot gliding across my belly. Sometimes you just kind of stop in one spot, long enough for me to feel the shape, definitely a foot!

I am so excited to meet you, to hold you for the first time, to get to know your personality. I understand that the delivery and birth will be really hard on you, too, and that living in this world will be totally different than what you are used to, but we're going to do everything possible to keep you comfortable and happy. There are many people out here that love you already, and all are very anxious to meet you, too.

We've finally decided on a name for you, but are keeping it a secret, because, well, it's our decision, and people will be much less likely to criticize it at all once it is officially your name. And, besides, we want to make sure it will suit you when we meet you. How else could we know if it is truly your name until we meet you?

These last 19 days are going to go by so slow, because we are so excited to meet you! I can't wait to bring you home.

Your father sums up our feelings with one phrase: "This will be the best thing we've ever done."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I love you.