Food for thought that I really need to eat.

 

Healthy Tip

Say "Please"
Being a strong, empowered woman does not mean you have to be "supermom," or that you have to do everything yourself. One definition of the word empower is "to make someone stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights." Being empowered means accessing your inner strength to take control of the choices you have in your pregnancy and birth. Part of empowerment is recognizing when you need help and asking for it.
As a mother, there will be times when you will need to turn to others for help and support. It may be getting help with laundry and household tasks after the birth, or having someone look after your older kids while you take a nap with your newborn. Or, perhaps you need help now to get your house organized before baby's birth. People want to help, but they can't read minds. You may have to tell them what you need. Remember as a child when your parents taught you to say "please" when you asked for something? Sometimes as adults, we need to relearn that it's OK to ask for help, and that if we do so politely, others will gladly step up.
Find empowerment in pregnancy and birth. Know your limits and get help when you need it.


****Lately these email subscription things about pregnancy and birth and stuff are all RIGHT ON THE MARK WITH WHAT I NEED TO HEAR AND OR READ.****

Ow. and now what?

Went to doctor's this a.m. because been getting sharp burning excruciating pain in lower right abdomen.

Is MUCH worse at work, after standing for awhile or lifting anything with any decent weight to it.

Don't know what to do now:

Thank god doc says it doesn't sound/seem like hernia - he pressed on spots in my lower abdomen and made me cough - apparently that the test?

Figures I strained a muscle, and wants me to take it easy to prevent it from getting worse/tearing.

Doc wanted me to take next 3-5 days off to rest. Told him I JUST started back at this job and that taking extra time off at Christmas is not likely to be a good idea. (Work everyday except 25th and 29th. After which I have no idea what my next day off will be.)

I negotiated light duty instead, and so he wrote a note saying I am not supposed to lift any more than 5 pounds, and need to be able to take sitting breaks as needed.

He wanted me to do my job sitting, but not exactly possible. I would be useless and slow, and I would be better for the company if I just took the time off instead.

Man, if I had enough hours to start my maternity leave soon, I would. But I need another 150 or so.

I don't think there's any position in the grocery store that would be light enough duty for me to do, nor would there be anyone to cover the 29 hours I am supposed to work the next 5 days (not including the 25th. Including 5 today.).

I know from working previously and having to take time off/light duties due to obvious medical issues that my boss won't be happy, and in fact will demand an explanation of exactly what the note means.

"Blaine should be on light duties for the next 3 to 5 days. No lifting > 5 lbs. Sitting breaks as needed."

I'm pretty sure it's pretty clear.

I can't lift. I have to go slow and take it easy, and will most likely need a packer at my till during my entire shift. MEANING: boss will be bitchy. Really bitchy.

Have to leave for work in... about 20 minutes, and not sure what to tell my boss besides: "guess what? I'm here to ruin your Christmas."
______________

Here's where I have an issue with this.

I don't mean to sound like I have an ego, but I always feel, at almost any job, that I am the hardest working one. I find things to do if there isn't anything going on. I figure out ways to make things more efficient. I KNOW that when I worked at the IGA before, I was by far the quickest cashier, knew all of the codes, packed people's groceries the best way (wasn't stupid and put a loaf of break in next to a pineapple - UNLESS REQUESTED TO, which happens.)

People came to my till because they knew I was quicker and wouldn't screw it up. I also know that most of the other people I worked with were 'temps' who took the job because they wanted money, but didn't want to work, and usually quit within a few weeks, maybe a few months.

It is really hard for me to slow down. I have been trying to the last two days because this pain has been excruciating, and yesterday it took about 6 hours for it to go away, after my shift, by far worse than the first day.

My issue isn't the pain, though. It's in my head. If I slow down, I feel like I am wasting these people's time, because I know I could go faster, used to go faster. I feel like I am slacking, and if I have to have a packer at my till for every. single. order. I am going to feel like an idiot.

I know I am pregnant, and there are things I can't do anymore. It's just REALLY HARD for me to accept it, and going to be very difficult to practice what the doctor preached.

I know it will get a little slower after Christmas and New Year's are over, but after that point I am going to have to slow down anyway, because my belly is starting to make it hard to walk around and do things like I used to. (What the hell is it like at 8 months if at 6 months I am already having trouble?)

Internal conflicts suck.



***Oh, and doctor told me to take Tylenol ("BUT NOTHING ELSE") for the pain, but I think that would do more damage than good. I would probably end up 'feeling better' and working through the numbed pain, and make problems that much worse.

Thanks, but no thanks, I will gladly feel the pain. Especially if it prevents more pain.***

All about Sears

@Mom's reply: Closest Zellers is in Edmonton somewhere, not worth the drive, and I'm not eager to pay for home delivery, either.

Definitely unable to make trip to Edmonton to shop. Between Chris planning to use most of his vacation/PLD days for when the baby arrives, the roads, my just starting this job, and not wanting to wait too long to get stuff set up*, it's just not a possibility. Plus we aren't exactly eager to do too much travelling. Glad to go to Cold Lake in January (mental note: get Chris to call and book vacation today so we CAN go to Cold Lake in January) but other than that, not eager at all. I'm already getting quite uncomfortable staying in one position too long, so avoiding driving/riding in car is one of my priorities.

(*Still have this paranoid voice in the back of my head telling me to get ready EARLY... Trying to block it out, but I figure that being ready early can only make the voice shut up, and it would be better than being late, anyway.)

@Mom's reply#2: The crib was 'available' when the lady ordered it over the phone, and she's IN their system ordering it. So, I'm guessing it takes a few days for the order to process, and then they finally find out it's 'unavailable'. I don't know how their system works, but it's obviously flawed.

OH, AND THEY CHARGED MY CC FOR THE 2ND CRIB ALREADY SO I HAVE TO CALL TO GET THEM TO REFUND IT. Even though the crib is 'unavailable,' they charged my CC.

I still can't believe they refused to refund Grandma's money. If I was Grandma, I'd be on the phone arguing until they got sick of me wasting their time and just gave in. (I think that is partially what happened when I called about the crib, they were unwilling to do anything about it, and I continued to argue, and - in my head - showed no signs of backing down. I would have been on the phone with them all afternoon. I started out nice, but got pissed off fairly quick, especially when the lady kept interrupting me. I ended up yelling at her to stop interrupting me and told her it's very rude to interrupt their customers. Her reply: "Are you done?" At which point I lost it again and asked to speak to her manager who was, conveniently, not there.)

UNBELIEVEABLE.

Anyway, did you actually order it, or just get to the point of ordering it and then cancel the order?

_______________________________________________

We set up the mis-delivered crib, anyway. It was going to be very difficult to move that box now that the super strong straps were cut, and we would have had to sometime this week - it was laying in our kitchen. 6 feet by 5 feet of YOU HAVE NO WALKING SPACE. So we said screw this crap, we didn't want to bother 'picking out' another one, to probably have the same thing happen, so we just decided to keep this one. It is nice, I was worried it would be too 'feminine' with the curves on it, but it's for a baby. And it's white. How girly could it be?

After we set it up, I kept crying, the realization that we're that much closer to the baby coming. The CRIB is set up.

It's monumental to me. A HUGE step. Only thing huger would be the baby coming. (So far, that's my thought process, may change after the rest of the room is more set up.)

The crib looks perfect. I think we may have been meant to have this one, the other one would have looked a lot more 'box-y' and I don't think would have suited the room quite as well.

I'm thinking about going to pick up the mattress today, although am not sure how much it weighs, so don't know if I should be packing it around myself. Chris works (if he's lucky) until 2, and I start working at 2, until 6. The sears store here closes at 5:30. SOL.
_____________________________

There is still tons of things I wanted to buy from Sears, but after what I've been told about what Grandma went through, and my own personal hell dealing with them, I'm not too eager.

Might file a complaint with their service department, this is getting to be ass-backwards, and they deserve to know. (Wondering if they'll try to make us pay for the crib we received since we're keeping it? It's regular retail is $75 more than the one we ordered. I would be on the phone with them for WEEKS if I had to, to deal with THAT. You want to see an angry pregnant woman? Wait until Sears screws up more shit for me...)

Going to call them right now to get them to refund my money for the crib we won't be getting.

(In other news, first day at work was great, remembered most everything, some stuff still questionable, but since they changed all of the tobacco rules and lottery machine, it's to be expected.)

Feeling so much better

 I feel about 1000% better. I haven't done specific calculations, but that is my guesstimate. It may even be as high as 3000%.

I worked hard yesterday, staying up way later than usual, to write my resignation letter(s)* and get a few things done, including bringing said resignation letter to my now-ex-workplace and delivering it to my ex-bosses.

*Because of the incident that occurred on my last shift - tuesday night - I felt compelled to let the VP of operations and Head Office know about it. I may post more specific details. Not sure. Since none of my coworkers from there knew I have a blog, nor is it listed on my facebook (for a long time now) I don't fear they will read it, I just am unsure whether or not to post about it. Yet.

There was so much I wanted to say, so much that SHOULD be said, but I kept it to the most recent and important issues, because a 14 page resignation letter would do nothing but make me look like I complain.

I just feel I saw exactly how they could do a lot of things better. My coworkers usually agreed, and complained about doing things in the same, inefficient stupid ways.

YET, when I would suggest something to my ex-bosses, they would leave me a note saying they would 'consider' it, and that would be the end of that.

If I had any issues with something that wasn't supposed to be happening, or people not doing their jobs, I would leave a note to the bosses letting them know about it, presuming they would actually do something about it.

NOPE. WARNING: VENTING ABOUT TO OCCUR!!!

So, during one particular shift I came into work and found this:

- paperwork all over the front desk counter, unsorted, unfiled, unorganized, for no reason other than laziness.
- staff's personal dishes left on the f/d counter, including plates and cutlery, mugs, glasses, and garbage and half eaten chinese food on them.
- the continental breakfast, which is supposed to be re-stocked by the person who puts it all away 11 hours before my shift started, almost empty.
- the counter where the breakfast is put out, covered in crumbs, juice and milk spills, coffee and sugar spills, dirty dishes, and food bits that were obviously from the person who was on shift before me having ordered in chinese food, and serving it to themselves on that counter. (There was also a fortune cookie left there. I did not read it, although I am guessing it might have said "you will put in extra effort today.")
- The sinks, both in the continental area, where guests see it, and in the kitchen, had obviously had crumbs and cereal dumped into them, and then juice and coffee and hot chocolate on top. And not rinsed. It was disgusting. It looked like someone had vomited in the sinks. I was annoyed when I saw the first one, disgusted when I saw the second one. The second one was, of course, a double sink, too.
- The muffin tins that only nightshift uses to make muffins, had not been cleaned, again. This was my first night back after 4 off, and the only other person that works night shifts, thinks that when the muffins leave that ring of dried batter around the top of the ring, and spilled bits, and when she tears them out of their tins and it leaves a 2 inch chunk of muffin on the tin, putting them in the dishwasher, to be moistened, and then stacking them one on top of another, is appropriate cleanliness. (My routine was to soak the pans in a sink of hot water, use a scrubby to get rid of all of the muffin bits & rings, and then put them in the dishwasher to get the grease off - premade batter = more than 14g fat/muffin.) Needless to say, I was pissed to have to wash the soggy chunks and dried rings of batter before I could make muffins that night.
- There was 3 buspans with random bits of grossness in them that should have been cleaned. Very similar to the sinks, but not dry, and add cereal & raisin bits, stir sticks, and sugar and jam packets.
- Add to the buspans, a bunch of dirty dishes. ABout 4 loads worth.
- garbages behind the front desk and in the continental area overflowing with crap. Supposed to be emptied every shift/when half full, respectively.

It has been over a month, and I don't recall if there was anything else, although I am certain there was.

See, if there was one or two of the above, I could handle it, but considering it appears everyone left all of their regular duties from the 3 8-hour shifts previous to mine for me to do, I was pissed off.

I knew if I left a note for my bosses, nothing would happen. I was too angry to just sit back and take it, I had had enough of people leaving stuff for me, just because they knew that I am not one of those people who can just leave it for someone else. Besides, I would only leave it for someone else, if they had done it, and were coming in RIGHT after me, but that NEVER happens here, there's always someone in between. So, not fair.

I wrote every single thing in the communication book, and my feelings about it contiuously happening to me. Everyone who read those pages would easily have been able to say, okay so Person#1 was working the night before, she should have cleaned the muffins tins, Person #2 was working the mornig shift, should have restocked and cleaned the breakfast stuff, and done as many dishes as she could have. Person # 3 should have done this and that...

and so on.

At the end of the notes I made, I added a personal opinion about how it doesn't just boil down to pure laziness, but about respect for your coworkers. I said that they can't leave stuff like that for me to do just because they know I will do it. I mentioned that they should consider how I ALWAYS left everything clean, stocked and organized for them. No dirty dishes, breakfast set up with plenty of coffee made so that they wouldn't have to make any for awhile. Everything overly stocked so that they could not have to check it for awhile. Counters clean. No papers all over. No garbage in the bins, no garbage on the counters... 

There was never any proof that I ate AT ALL during my shifts, my personally-used dishes were always cleaned and put away.

Oh, and I NEVER put away ANY dishes that were dirty.

*I'd like to mention that I understand the kind of mess that was left for me could be excused IF THEY WERE BUSY. The had about 15 people in the hotel the night before, which is EXTREMELY slow, and means that they would have had nothing to do. There was 3 check in's during the shift before me, again, extremely slow, so no excuses AT ALL for any of them.

Anyway, apparently my venting note in the book pissed off my bosses, because the next day there was a note in there saying something about how they were the bosses and they should be the ones to tell everyone what to do. F*cking retarded. I was tempted to call them EVERY SINGLE TIME there was something left for me, or just leave it with a note for the bosses. I get pissed, I don't see action or I get treated like I am just complaining for the sake of it, and then I get vengeful. Very hard for me to deal with that, and it doesn't usually last long anyway, I end up doing everything the same way the next night. I JUST CAN'T DO WHAT THEY DO.

I REALLY wanted to start leaving notes in that book detailing every little thing I did during my shift that should have been done before I got there.

And the bosses who never actually do anything also felt compelled to make us all fill out this retarded survey. "Because everyone around here seems to think that they know how everyone else is supposed to do their job, we want to make sure that everyone DOES know how to do their job." Duh. Train them better, or tell them if other people are complaining about things. If they leave shit, tell them to stop. Effing duh. (Not management material, and that was strongly proved during the incident on my last shift.)

Then after all of the surveys were completed, they photocopied them all for each of us so we could see each other's answers, "blacking" out the names (it was obvious, and easy to still see the names anyway.) and filled in one with their answers. Then they left a note saying they would be getting together with each of us to go over what we'd answered. NEVER FOLLOWED UP.

The most pathetic thing about the survey was the way they felt the need to 'reassure themselves' that they were indeed the bosses, which proved to us all even more that they have no clue what is going on: "Question 16 (yes, there was 16 of these.) Who are the bosses and get to tell everyone what to do?"

Of course everyone answered that they were the bosses. No one meant it. No one respects them. I feel bad for the people who still work there. Not one of the front desk staff want to be there anymore, and it's because the bosses are doing STUPID things. They want us to do things the most inefficient ways possible, JUST shy of not doing them at all.

Some of the employees stick it out because it's an easy job. They get free food - the continental breakfast. Free access to the pool, if it ever gets done, and the gym. Cheap hotel rooms if/when they need them. They get to sit on their butt and do nothing. For most of their day. AND if they don't do something right, no one there cares anymore, because it's so obvious that the bosses do a lot of things worse.

So glad I am done there. So glad I am never going back. I *may* have considered it, before the afore-mentioned-many-times-incident.

Put it this way: Would you want to go back to a job where the boss came in to deal with a problem drunk, treated you like shit, and then after making the problem A LOT WORSE, blamed it on you and said very rudely on his way out the door: "Thanks for that."?

I didn't think so.

</venting>

(Last note about the above. I've sent details of the incident and my concerns for other employees, some of which I KNOW have been treated similarly, to the VP of operations, and head office. The BBB doesn't handle employer/employee disputes, and after looking up info on the labour board's website, it appears that the only grievances you can file with them are monetary based, if the company owes you vacation pay, for example. Would LOVE to send in a grievance somewhere about the conditions of my leaving this job, but don't think there's anywhere else to do it?)

_________________________________________________

Whew. Last time I am going to even bother thinking about that. Have a headache now. (Might also be because I haven't eaten much this morning.)

Onto better news: I'm huge! Well, not really, I guess, but it sure feels like it.

I already have to be very careful how I turn over in bed, 3 weeks ago, I pulled some abdominal muscles turning over the way I used to: basically whipping my body up off the bed and flipping. Not anymore. Now I scooch over, slowly roll or pull myself over, and then scooch to my spot, because at this point I am usually right up against Chris (heat factory) or the edge of the bed (dangerous).

:) I've noticed a definite change in body temperature, too, especially at night. Whew. Still need to wear socks and sometimes slippers during the day at home, but it's been awhile since I've needed my usual fall/winter/spring get up for hanging out in the house: socks, slippers, pants, t-shirt, sweater, blanket*. Yup. All of that. And even then, I am usually still cold. PLUS, this is with the heat set at an unreasonble 20 or 21. (I know, I know...)

Now, I'm pretty comfy in pants, socks, t-shirt*. At night, when I used to need two blankets, I find myself kicking them off and keeping them off for most of the night. And cuddling with the heat factory next to me? Not for more than 5 minutes, before we both get uncomfortable and feel gross!

*Yes, underthings, too.

____

The COOLEST part of being pregnant so far: being able to see the kicks. I never knew about that. Hell, they should put that on the front page of pregnancy books: "You will be able to see the kicks from the outside. WARNING: pregnancy may make you lay and stare at your belly like an idiot for hours each day."

It is so amazing, and if I have something resting up sort of against my belly, like my laptop sometimes, the baby moves the whole thing. I told Chris about it, and then when it happened, told him to stare at my laptop for a few minutes. He laughed his butt off.

The weirdest part (or one of several) has got to be seeing my heart beat through my chest and sometimes belly. I know there's a lot of extra blood in my system, and my heart is pounding harder than it ever has had to, but geez. It's little creepy to me. Sort of.

I laid back to stretch my back about halfway through this post and looked at my belly. Twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch.... weird...

____

Anyway, I need food, so I am going to end this abruptly.

Very, very abruptly.

:)

23 weeks

23 weeks, originally uploaded by theanykey.

I sometimes still wonder if it's real.

According to the baby books, a week ago the baby would have weighed at approximately 1 pound, and in 3 weeks (4 weeks span) the baby will DOUBLE his weight.

Wow.

Glad the rest of us can't do that. (I think.)

Plus, that explains why I have spent my days off SLEEPING and EATING. And laying around with absolutely no energy...

Instead of taking some of the 300 things off of my list of things to do. (Literally. But it's a VERY detailed list. IE: - Clean Baby's dresser (2nd hand from unknown people) - Move Baby's dresser to spot in room - fold and put away Baby Clothes. There's plenty more. Only about 1/4 of it is baby-related, unless you count cleaning the table/kitchen/addition/extra room that's full of boxes/ living room baby-related.)

Nesting?

 I've read that the 'nesting' instinct is primarily coined for the sudden impulse that some pregnant women will get in the week or so before she goes into labour, to clean, to paint, to organize and re-organize.

Maybe what I'm doing is that, maybe it's just a desire to organize the house, but either way, I'm calling it nesting.

I have a STRONG urge to get the baby's room ready NOW. I still have 4 months to go, but in the back of my head is a little pregnant version of me, saying "It will go by SOOO quick, and you might not feel like doing some stuff later. DO IT NOW."

I also have an urge to clean up and organize the rest of the house. Just generally sick of boxes and STUFF being everywhere. Today, we had a big step taken care of. We had some stuff we weren't going to bother to sell, but was still useable by anyone else, and tried to offer it to people via Freecycle. After living with this stuff in our house for a few more weeks with zero interest, finally called the local Neighbour Link. (Group of Churches that work together to pick up donated furniture/appliances/random other stuff and they distribute it to people in need. We've given them stuff before, and they are very nice people, and usually my first thought when we have stuff we no longer want. Depending on what it is, I try Freecycle first. Gotten a lot of stuff via Freecycle people, and like to offer them what we have, in case they can use it.)

All random tangents aside, I'm starting to lose the battle with the little version of me in my head...

She's starting to drive me crazy. I guess it's not so bad, I can block her out fairly well, but for the most part... I still find myself wishing I had another 24 hours each day. (Some days, for sleeeeeeep.)

Going to resist the urge to fold the little tiny baby blankets/ towels in the dryer, and go back to bed.

Another cool encounter (?)

At our most recent ultrasound, I got to see the coolest thing I've ever seen: my baby do a full kick. It was amazing, and it's an experience I will never forget.

I had a dream the other night about the baby.

In my dream, I went 'inside myself' and saw the baby's face. I spent a few moments just being with the baby, and stroked his/her face with my index finger.

It didn't feel like a dream, it was very vivid, felt very real, and I woke up feeling much more connected to the baby.

Just thinking about it now makes me quite emotional, and I'm getting all teary-eyed.

I don't know what to think about it, though. Part of me wants to believe it's real, and part of me feels it was just a vivid dream.

Any input?

Update: Forcing the annoying scientific 'everything-must-be-proven-or-make-sense-in-some-way" part of me to go away, I believe that I met the baby, that I stroked his/her face with a spiritual representation of my finger or something like that.

Either way, the thought of it leaves me feeling a lot happier than if I believed it was just a dream. :)

Not much going on

Have the next ultrasound scheduled for the 24th. Am eager and impatient! :)

Can't wait to get anther view of the baby, and am very excited to find out the gender. The excitement went away after the first one revealed nothing, and didn't come back until the next appointment was booked. Now I'm going crazy about it again!


Went to the doctor today, and found out I am still big - in the baby area - for how far along I am. (Was told that last time, too.) Doc said it's a good thing, though, so I am happy!  

Everything else was good, too, except I have carpal tunnel in my right hand - doc says pregnancy related. I get to buy a splint to wear at night, and need to cut back on computer use at work! Not sure what I will do with the 7 hours of nothing to do, but will try to find something... I also have to watch my other wrist, it might occur there if I overcompensate.

I don't think it is that bad, yet, just enough to be noticeable, so I should be able to keep it from getting worse, and the doctor said it should go away after the baby is born.
: )

20w4d

20 weeks and 4 days.

:) Not the most flattering picture of me, but I had to balance the camera on two mandarin orange boxes on top of a chair to get the picture... (Chris takes blurry pics)

And the little bump at the top of my belly is what I am calling the baby's first blanket. A little extra insulation from the cold...

: )

Oh yeah

 
 
And the baby kicked when Chris put his head on my belly to listen - he heard a thud, it was cool! (I wish I could listen!!! I guess I get to feel it way more, but still!! Need to try it with a stethoscope next time I am at the doctor's!)
 
: ) Now we're just waiting for Chris to be able to FEEL the kicks, too. There have been a lot of strong ones, the baby is trying!!!
 
Soon enough!

 
 
 

Ultrasound #3

YAY! We get to go for another ultrasound!

I called the doctor's office and the hospital and then the doctor's office again, and basically the long and the short of it is we're getting the second ultrasound! Just waiting for the call from the hospital to make the appointment! YAY!!!

HOPING that they call today, but it doesn't look like it, it's already past 4:15 p.m.

And I should go to bed... only got three hours of sleep so far...

:) Will definitely post when I know when the ultrasound is.

Haven't posted in awhile

 
Again. Oh well, it's my blog and I'll update as I see fit (or remember!)
 
I have to say that the experience of going for an ultrasound was one of the most amazing I've done in a long time.
 
I had to have some upper abdominal pictures taken as well as the baby scan, so I was told not to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before.
 
(I cheated - kept drinking until 2 and had a yogurt at about 2:30 - but I figured that liquid-y stuff would be mostly cleared in 6 hours, so whatever)
 
Either way, the first thing the tech asked me was if I had a full bladder, to which I replied the instructions I'd been given. She said I needed a full bladder for the baby scan so I had to chug a bunch of water - almost a full bottle - that I had brought with me. : )
 
The upper abdominal scan was interesting, she was much more thorough than I remember the techs in Cold Lake being (have had to do this several times - checking on the 'hemangiomas' on my liver...) and involved a LOT of holding deep breaths and pushing out on my stomach and holding that.
 
I imagine between the sudden water intake, the plenty of deep breathing and the weird stomach muscle exercise, the baby must have reacted to SOMETHING we had done, because when the tech went to do the baby scan, the baby was VERY active.
 
The tech mentioned at one point that ours was one of the most active that she'd ever seen! I don't know if the baby is always that active, or if it was a result of the above, but either way, it made it difficult for her to get clear pictures of the baby, and she said we'd be needing another scan, to get good pictures of the heart and the head/face. That was excellent news for me, since she was unable to get a clear gender determination, and said she didn't know if it was a boy or girl.
 
(The tech definitely seemed quite skilled, and it didn't take very long for her to get all of the abdominal pictures she needed, so I don't think it's due to inexperience or anything like that. She apologized and said that our baby was just too active during this scan!)
 
I am still so excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl, and my original instinct was thrown off last week by a dream I'd had.
 
During my shifts at work, I have plenty of time to look up all kinds of things online, and most has been about baby stuff. I try to avoid stuff like ebay (addictive) and information related to the delivery/complications (for now - a little too scary, and I end up worrying needlessly, whatever will happen, will happen regardless...).
 
During a shift last week, I stumbled across this article/quiz thing, and did it for the fun of it:
 
http://pregnancy.about.com/od/boyorgirl/a/quizboygirl.htm
 
Some of my answers were pure guessing, for example: I don't know yet if I am carrying high or low, and either way the results were surprising.
 
I've felt right from the beginning that it was a girl, and there have been several things making me question my original instinct.
 
First, almost every piece of clothing we've gotten that is obviously gender specific (pink and purple vs blue and firetrucks) is for girls. (Murphy's law makes me think there's no way we'll have a girl if we ALREADY have lots of girl stuff)
 
Second, certain people who I believe to be very instinctual/ psychic even, say it will be a boy. (I know that they could be wrong, too, but STILL.)
 
Third, my Mom has already bought girly clothing...
 
Fourth, the Chinese calendar thing says the baby will be a boy, whether you use the basic one:
 
http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/baby/Chinese-conception-gender-chart-9.htm
 
or the one you need to figure out your Chinese age and the Chinese lunar month at time of conception.
 
http://www.babyhopes.com/pages.php?pageid=11
 
Fifth, the quiz I mentioned above said it will be a boy.
 
Sixth, there's my dream. After my shift during which I took the quiz, I had a dream that we went for the ultrasound and discovered the baby was a boy. (We were also adopting a 3 year old boy in the dream at this same point in the pregnancy for reasons unknown, but that part of the dream was less 'intense' than the ultrasound part.)
 
I realize the dream could have been a direct result of having taken that quiz, or just my minds way of screwing with me...

Then there's just this feeling I have that I may not be having a girl. I don't know if all of this is coming up in my head because the ultrasound was coming up quickly, or just maybe I felt I needed to be more prepared in the event that they baby turns out to be a boy, when Chris and I both felt strongly that it is a girl.
 
Either way, I'll just be happy if our baby is healthy, (I know, standard answer, but it's true) and can't wait to meet the little person growing inside of me.
 
Our most recent ultrasound picture has made me realize all over again that I. Am. Going. To. Be. A. Parent. and I've begun thinking about a lot of things a little different. Nothing specific comes to mind now that I am writing about it, but my point of view has definitely shifted, and I am doing a lot more thinking about everything. I keep looking at the picture, and thinking to myself that that is my baby, my child. I am going to be a Mom. (If I'm not already, not sure exactly how that's classified. I already feel like a Mom, especially since the point of view change, but am assuming I will continue to feel more and more like a Mom as the months go by. I imagine that I will one day look at my 5 year old and go "Holy Crap, I am a parent!")
 
Regardless of all of that, the moment during the ultrasound that is permanently imprinted in my head was the first picture that showed up when the technician put the scanner on my belly. Unfortunately, Chris wasn't in the room during most of the appointment, they bring in the Father/Family members at the very last moment to show them the baby. It was an amazing moment, and I really wish Chris had been able to see it too.
 
A perfect and very detailed side view of the baby's full leg, bent for just a moment, and then a quick "KICK". It was amazing to see the baby kick, and feel it at the same time! It surprised the technician, I don't think she was expecting it.
 
I think about that moment several times a day, keep picturing the tiny leg, little muscles and bones, kicking away...
 
: )

 
 
 

Weird wake up

I went to bed today as usual. Put my cell phone on it's charger, got into bed, pulled up the covers and zzzz.

It's when I woke up that was weird. I woke up at 1 p.m. (only went to bed at about 8 a.m.) and noticed my cell phone sitting next to me on Chris' side of the bed. After a quick investigation, I found out I had called my brother at 9:21 a.m.

I don't remember doing this...

I sent my brother some text messages asking about it, if we'd spoke, and apparently when he answered his phone it disconnected...

Weird.

At least I don't have phone conversations in my sleep, yet. That would be more weird, and I can only imagine what I would talk about?

Maybe the baby was trying to make a call through me!

:) Either way, I had an interesting start to my day.

 
 
 

So tired

 
It is 3:55 a.m.
 
In 5 minutes I can do the nightly deposit on the computer. I've had the numbers and paper work ready for 3 hours. I finally get to do it, though.
 
Then again, the sooner I do that, the sooner I have nothing to do again. (Everything I brought to do - book, cross-stitch, etc - will put me to sleep)
 
It will take me 3 minutes, no joke, to print out the reports, fax them to head office and be completely bored again. Trying to stay awake has become part of my job. And it is exhausting.
 
I don't know what to do, besides stay up later and try to sleep a little later. But that will screw up my ability to have afternoon appointments, and will cut back on my Chris time, which is already limited these days.
 
Hmmm...
 
I'm still avoiding caffeine (assuming that it is best to avoid completley throughout pregnancy) and so have been relying on food, and sometimes sugary food to keep me awake. Trying to keep the sugar to a minimum because I don't want to end up with gestational diabetes.
 
... almost fell asleep in my chair for a second there.
 
Hmmm... again.
 
It's now 4, going to do my 3 minutes of work. Cannot wait to get to sleep this morning.

 
 
 

Went for a drive

Went for a drive, originally uploaded by theanykey.

Chris and I went for a drive and then went exploring on a road we weren't familiar with, and ended up seeing this. It was well worth the crappy road and having to turn back after 45 minutes of unknown roads just to drive another hour to get home! (Long drive)

I don't know if this picture will do it justice, and I really doubt it. But, I'd also really like to not go back. It was a long crappy road. :)

Far off in the distance, you can see steam/smoke, that's the pulp mill in town. That's how far of a drive it was...

You might need to go to my flickr page to see the steam/smoke, or try viewing all sizes. (Does that work on my flickr page or do I have it disabled?)

The Baby

Well, I'm declaring it official.

I can feel the baby moving. Chris has tried to feel it, but it's a little soon for that. (I'm going to try to catch his reaction on video if I can!) (I should have video-d his reaction when I took the pregnancy test! That was hilarious! Story for another day.)

I've felt flutters, and a lot more 'pressure'. I'm not sure how else to describe it. It isn't cramping, it's unlike anything else I've EVER felt, and it's not always in the same spot. Usually happens after I drink orange juice or eat a really sweet orange...!

Sometimes it's fairly strong, and catches me by surprise, and Chris gets a little freaked out by the look on my face, but it's just because it's so new...

: ) I can't wait until HE can feel the baby kicking. I'm so going to wake him up in the middle of the night when the baby kicks... heh heh heh...

(I know that it's a little bit early, but I'm VERY sensitive to my body, usually can feel ovulation, felt the implantation - although thought it was my period at first. About 6 years ago, I went to the doctor with this ache in my side and had some tests done, and after an ultrasound of my liver, they saw some spots called 'hemangiomas' that are very rarely painful, and the doctor and the ultrasound tech both said I shouldn't be able to feel them. They apparently weren't typical of the ones that would cause pain/nausea/other problems. But I felt them...)

ANYWAY, all of the books I've been reading have said that it is possible to feel the baby as early as 14 weeks, but 'most' first timers don't until closer to 20, depending on the person.

I'm not most. YAY!

I guess it's just one more way I'm different! (or at least I like to think so...)

*Also, the last time we were at the doctors, the baby was sleeping (according to the doctor) and the heart rate was slower, about 135-140. It started to speed up halfway through listening, and I could feel pressure, so that's another reason I figure that what I'm feeling IS the baby moving. I felt nothing, heart rate was slower, baby was sleeping. I felt pressure, heart rate went up, baby was moving... :)

*Chris got a call from the doctor yesterday not long after I'd gone to work, the results from my blood tests showed I am slightly anemic, and need to take Iron Supplements now. That would also be a contributing factor in the tiredness. Oh well, we're keeping the new bed anyway. (Delivery today hopefully!)

*Ultrasound is booked for 8 a.m. October 31! (Going to COld Lake on the 2nd of November, so that's perfect timing! We will most likely find out the gender, although we're going to try to keep it to ourselves for a little while. If we can.)

 
 
 

Our vows

OUR WEDDING VOWS


Blaine:

I love you. You are my best friend.
Today I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you,
and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.

I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you have to give.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad, and to accept you the way you are.

Ever since the day I met you, I've known one thing for sure,
Yours is the face I want to grow old with,
And yours is the hand I want to hold
At the end of each day for the rest of my life.


Chris:

I love you. You are my best friend.
Today I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
When life seems easy and when it seems hard,
When our love is simple, and when it is an effort.

I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities and outlook on life that you have,
and won't try to reshape you in a different image.

Ever since the day I met you, I've known one thing for sure,
Yours is the face I want to grow old with,
And yours is the hand I want to hold
At the end of each day for the rest of my life.


RING CEREMONY

Blaine: Because this ring is perfectly symmetrical, it signifies the perfection of true love. I am honoured to call you my husband.

Chris: (response) I will forever wear this ring as a symbol of my promises and a reminder of my commitment to you.


Chris: Because this ring has no end or beginning, it signifies the continuation of true love. I am honoured to call you my wife.

Blaine: (response) I will forever wear this ring as a symbol of my promises and a reminder of my devotion to you.

15w3d Been awake for 20 hours

Hi. Remember me? I used to write on here sporatically, but usually more often than I have as of late.

I think I have a good reason. There's been a lot going on.

Chris and I got married, as you can tell by the last post, and we're also pregnant. (By we, I obviously mean me, because if HE was carrying the baby, well, let's just say we'd have a tv show of our own by now.)

We're in the middle of buying the place we're living in. (Mortgage approved, awaiting finalisation as a result of our confusion about insurance and finding out after we got a quote from one company that another in town would insure for half the cost. We were told the first we went to was the only one in town that insures, so we went there. Now we get to start over with another insurance company!)

I'm not sure who all reads this (hi, Chair!) besides the comment I got hinting that I should post again. (Good idea, btw, and thank you, it's a good outlet and I've neglected it for far too long!)

To those who DO read this, be warned that I may end up talking about the pregnancy a LOT, and in more detail than most guys would want to ever read.

There. I consider that a fair warning. It's written in normal sized letters. Good enough.

It is currently 3 a.m. and I am at work. I can guarantee that I will not get in trouble for posting while at work, because the amount of work is so marginal compared to the time we have to do it in. (At least on the night shift...)

I've been awake since 7 yesterday morning, so if this post falls apart and crumbles on your screen, don't worry, it's just me losing my mind. (Chronic exhaustion, will explain more later during the pregnancy explanations.)

I'm not sure where to start. Wedding or baby...

I haven't really thought too much about the wedding since it was over, since the baby took full priority in my head soon after.

This post is going to be about the wedding, and I'll try to remember to post about the baby soon...
___________________________________

Our Wedding

There was a lot going on, like most weddings I'm sure, and the morning of, it hit rock bottom. And by morning, I mean 1:30 a.m.

The Rehearsal and Dinner were great, and then I brought Jarrod (Honorary Maid of Honour/Groomsman) around Jasper and showed him some of my favorite places while Chris went out for a drink with his BFF, Dorin (Best Man).

The evening was amazing, and Jarrod and I met up with my friend Nicole, her daughter, Crystal and Nicole's boyfriend, Mike. We went to Lake Annette, a beautiful lake, where we sat on the wide dock and just listened to the evening. There were fish jumping out of the water every few minutes, having dinner, and I tried each time to get a picture (failed miserably). We saw a huge minnow, and basically just sat there having fun, chatting.

Anyway, Jarrod needed to speak with Chris and I about the MC-ing he was to do the next day, because we hadn't managed to talk to him about it until that point, so we finally got back to the hotel and started discussing things. When we finally finished, it was late, so Chris drove Jarrod back to where he was staying, and I started to get ready to go to bed.

(PREGNANCY INFO HERE)

I had been cramping a little bit during the later parts of the evening, but since it was fairly mild, I just assumed it was stretching or some other normal symptom. After a trip to the washroom, I immediately called Chris and told him there was blood. The cramps got worse (maybe from stress, maybe from ???), and in 2 minutes he was back, and we tried calling Capital Health Link for advice. After being on hold for ~15 minutes, and getting more stressed out by the second, Chris called the hospital in Jasper to talk to the nurse.

The nurse was much more helpful than the horrible 10 second loop of classical music I'd been listening to, so we took her advice and went to the Emergency Room.

We left for the hospital at around 1:00 a.m. and after a not so empathetic doctor bluntly said that "if you're going to miscarry, you're going to miscarry" and that there was nothing they could do about it. (I know that is the reality of it, and there isn't anything they could have done, but our frightened faces should have triggered something in the man's soul to maybe be a little nicer about how he said it.) He sent me back home (hotel) and we tried to calm down.

I'd like to mention how calm Chris stayed about the entire situation, and I know that he kept me from losing it altogether at the hospital. Before and after the hospital is a different story, though. The realisation of what we thought was happening hit me hard as we were getting our shoes on, and I couldn't move. When we got back from the hospital at 2:30 a.m., I again couldn't stop thinking about what would happen, what our wedding day would be dimmed by, if it did happen.

It was a horrible experience, and it combined with nerves made the rest of my night hellish. I got maybe an hours sleep, in 10 minute increments, while Chris may have gotten 2 hours, at best.

I was nauseous all night, and unfortunately, kept Chris awake all night while I was getting sick. I kept trying to eat crackers and drink 7up, but I couldn't keep anything down longer than half an hour. I'm certain that the sugar content of the 7up is part of what kept me going, so I held it in my mouth before swallowing to try to absorb as much as I could.

The next morning, I called a few people and told them what our night had been like, and after a suggestion that we could cancel the whole days events and have the ceremony in the hotel room, I took a different suggestion, had a shower, and joined Joy, Mat, Willy and Chris in the restaurant downstairs to try to eat.

The smell of the breakfast meats made me nauseous, so I just went upstairs and ate crackers. I had cancelled my hair appointment that morning, figuring that I'd never get through it. A lot of people offered ideas on how to do my hair, and Steph offered to do my hair for me, and I am so glad that I took her up on her offer. My hair looked great, and the best part was that I didn't have to leave the hotel room, so people were coming in and out letting me know what was happening in the ceremony room, who was arriving, and generally keeping me company.

THANK YOU STEPH!!!

(Pause while I do my cashout... Back @ 4:30 a.m. only one and a half hours to go until I can sleep!)

Anyway, as it closer to the time to start the ceremony, we figured it would be nice if I wore my dress, so we rushed to put it on, and ended up having Joy* and Nicole doing up buttons.

*When I first told Joy about my dress, she said she refused to do any buttons. There was 30 that needed doing up, 87 total on the dress, and she did them anyway. : )

We were finally all ready, got our flowers (and realized the florist forgot to add the throwing bouquet to the package, so I only had my bouquet and the girls bouquet's...) and we walked down the hallway to the back of the ceremony room.

My Dad was waiting outside for me, and Joy told me not to be nervous, which, for the three hours previous, I hadn't been. I was surprisingly calm.

Anyway, the girls were all nervous (they had to go first, who wouldn't be?), and until my Dad and I stepped up to the doorway to wait to go, I was calm. Then, everyone stood up and turned, and I started to well up. The first half of the aisle I was trying to hold back tears, the second half, I was trying to smile through them. I should have tried to cry an hour or so before the ceremony like I had thought about, so that I would be a little more calm during the ceremony, but I forgot, and I don't know that it would have done us much good anyway!

I wanted to add our vows here (I know I'd emailed them to myself, but they won't open on this computer at work... ?) but since I can't, I'll have to post them another day.

After the ceremony, we had a short receiving line with our parents, and then took some pictures on the balcony. We also took some group photos, and got almost everyone in the pictures, except for the couple of people that left right after the ceremony ended.

We then took a few minutes to relax, I went and sat for a few minutes in M&D's hotel room and had a muffin (yay food) and absorbed that I was now married!

We got everyone together and went to go take pictures, at the same lake that Jarrod, nicole, Mike, Crystal and I were at the night before.

The water was choppy, and it was very windy, and us girls kept hiding under a tree for protection from the pieces of tree that were blowing around. They were small pieces, but pieces, nonetheless. I still ended up having pieces of tree in my dress later on!

We kept up with our take a few pictures, run and hide, take a few pictures, etc routine until it got really windy, and we just said we got what we'd wanted and left!

It was a lot of fun, and right after the last picture of me was taken, my veil was blown out of my hair and I caught it before it took off in the wind! Luckily, the wind was blowing from the water to shore and not vise versa, so I probably wouldn't have lost the veil even if I hadn't caught it.

We had a few hours before the reception, so Chris and I went to our hotel room to try to nap or relax at the very least. I wasn't able to nap, but was feeling ill enough, again, that I had to take off my dress.

Chris wasn't eager to have to do up the buttons for me to wear the dress to the reception, and sitting in the dress with the boustier was quite uncomfortable and made my insides queasy, so I figured it might not be a good idea to wear it to the reception. This is one of two things I regret about the wedding. (The other being the cake. Another long story.) I really do wish I had at least tried to wear the dress, even if I wore it without the boustier. I also wish that we'd done our first dance, but only with the dress, so that's kind of a package regret.

The whole day was beautiful, the food at the reception was great, and the photographer was amazing, so altogether, the minor things were nothing and the major things were dealt with.

Our total guest count ended up being 57, and since several were leaving early the next day, our reception was down to 20 people including us by 10 p.m.

We left shortly after that, and got plenty of sleep that night.

I was still sick during the gift opening, but managed to make it through.

We had placed at each table setting a blank piece of paper and a pen for people to doodle whatever they wanted on it during the reception. They were all gathered up, some were brought to us as they were finished, and I am going to add them to the guest book.

One of my favorite memories from the entire wedding, that I will cherish forever:

On my brother's guest book page, he had doodled "McCrea" in big letters in the centre, and then wrote underneath it: "just got a little more beautiful."

Such a great day...

Blaine&Chris102, originally uploaded by theanykey.

: )

I know I still owe a post about the wedding, and it'll probably be after I'm working solo instead of training. I'll have a lot more free time, especially since it won't be interupted with questions about what I'm writing/doing on the computer next to my coworkers.

: )

Morning sickness seems to be fading, but that might also be the screwed up sleep schedule.

Will post again soon.

I'm married

 
And pregnant.
 
And now 25.
 
It feels so weird. Chris and I have both been going around repeating it to each other since the wedding. (You're my husband. You're my wife. So on and so forth.)
 
We've been doing that about the pregnancy, too.
 
I'm still not feeling 100% after the wedding weekend's excitement, but I promise to post a LONG post about what all happened, including the ER @ 1:30 a.m. the night before the wedding fiasco.
 
We're okay. Baby's (so far as we know) okay. Calling the ultrasound tech to figure it out tomorrow morning. Will most likely be having an 'emergency' ultrasound pretty quick.
 
Will let you know as things progress.
 
: )
 
(I'm married. I'm pregnant. I'm 25. So much to get used to!)

4 days and counting!

 
Well, there's 4 days until Chris and I will be married.
 
We just finished the favors today, the programs are half done,and the house is a mess!
 
But, we're still having a lot of fun, really happy, and not at all stressed. (And for those out there who like to get stressed if the Bride and Groom aren't, please DON'T! We want everyone to be relaxed!)
 
I still think that's kind of funny...
 
My parents and sister will be here on Wednesday, and brother on Thursday.
 
Got lots to do in between now and then, but not worried about it.
 
: )

 
 
 

Offline until I have time

 
Which I doubt will be anytime soon. Next week we're getting married, and soon after I will be getting an early ultrasound to find out how far along we are for sure, and then will be back to work on the 13th.
 
So just to let you know, might not be posting here for awhile.

 
 
 

Still on hiatus

But just thought I would give a quick update.

Moving went great, actually it was the best move we've ever had.

Chris' week of vacation has come in very handy, we went to Cold Lake for the wedding shower, had a great time, and came home and unpacked a lot. We have mostly everything except storage stuff unpacked, so there's still a lot to do, but it's not as important as the dishes were!

I think we are still planning to not hook up the satellite until ALL of the boxes are unpacked, because otherwise we'll be distracted immediately. (Honestly, I am enjoying the peace and quiet so much that I really don't miss the tv being on all day...)

But, until we are unpacked COMPLETELY, I won't be updating on here very much more. (Also, because I still have some wedding stuff to get done, so hoping to have plenty of time to do it.)

: )

 
 
 

Offline until further notice

I'm going to avoid all things internet until after we've packed and moved.

I am packing all this week, and we are moving next monday (14th) ish. No guarantees.

Might be moved sooner, but we won't have internet switched until 14th.

Either way, will need to unpack and get some wedding stuff going, too.

: )

Moving

Yes, again.

Back to the same place, in Hinton.

: )

Really soon, too.

 
 
 

Made my own guest book for the wedding

Here's pictures of the guest book I made for our wedding. If somehow someone finds this and wants a how-to of how I did it, email me.

These same pictures (plus one more that loaded sideways about 6 times on here so I left it out) and descriptions & information can be found here, too.










I really like it. I'm especially proud because Chris likes it, too.

The only part that is unfinished is the seam, because I need to be able to take it apart for the wedding. We are going to have the pages at each place setting, with pens on the tables, so that everyone can write whatever comes to mind, and we'll have more entries than if we leave in on a table in the corner.

I think we might put some pages in the for the wedding, and have it on display so people can write in it, too. Then I can take all the pages with writing and put them together after the wedding.

If anyone wants to add anything to it (pictures, etc.), the pages, when in the book, allow for a space of 5" x 7".

: ) I might put a picture of everybody from the wedding in the book opposite their entry!

Tomorrow's project: Programs. In 4 weeks: favors.

I uploaded photos

Sunset with crane, originally uploaded by theanykey.

On June 15, and 19.

Check 'em out.

And a reminder I have a new "daily photo" thing going:

blainesdailyphoto.blogspot.com

A pure sense of calm

I am starting to feel a very calm happiness in relation to the wedding, the wedding planning and all of the 'stuff' that still needs to be done.

I keep stumbling across articles that make me feel even better about the wedding we've planned. One is about anti-brides, women who like the idea of marriage and want a wedding, but aren't so keen to be the center of attention for too long. The article can be found here.

While the idea of needing to be convinced to have a wedding seems a bit absurd to me, I am very resistant to having a bachelorette party in any form. That's why we've negotiated a coed barbecue type party. More like a pre-wedding get together to celebrate the impending bigger celebration.

Something like that.

There are a lot of traditions that Chris and I are completely ignoring... We don't have ANY plans to do the garter toss thing. At all. Not negotiable.

Some others include the "groom cannot see the bride before the ceremony". Chris and I will be staying in the same hotel room the night before the wedding. If anyone can keep me calm, it's Chris. It makes sense to me that I should wake up with him on one of the most important days of our lives.

Of course, when I leave to go get my hair done, that will be the last time he will see me until the ceremony, but only because I want the whole hair-done-makeup-done-wedding-dress package to be seen all at once. : )

I am considering throwing a bouquet, when I previously rejected the idea completely. I always felt horrible as a single person being pushed up onto the dance floor, into the spotlight, to try to catch a bouquet. When I told others I wanted to spare similarly shy women from the same fate, it was met with absolute shock, even disgust.

There were a few more ideas I considered to avoid the bouquet tossing issues (I know some of the young single 'ladies' invited rarely act as, um, polite as expected, and anticipate a bitter feud for the bouquet if I toss it away from them.) including just announcing that we would appreciate if they didn't push people out of the way. BUT, I know it's supposed to be all in good fun.

I considered giving the bouquet to someone important, as a symbol of appreciate and to honour them, but I would need about ten bouquets.

The old traditional "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something new" is one I like and want to do: I am superstitious. While I know that Chris and I have a fantastic relationship and it's extremely unlikely that it will change into something unexpected, there's no luck like good luck.

So far, I have some ideas for some of them:

Old: ummm... No idea. I wonder if Mom has any memento's from her wedding that I could borrow? That would cover borrowed, too.

New: The dress, the veil, the shoes, the just about everything around me.

Borrowed: No idea. Mom might have a bracelet she said I could borrow.

Blue: Might take a ribbon from the bouquets I still have from my sister's wedding. Tie it around my bouquet, and presto! Something Blue.

There are some things that I absolutely love the idea of: Like saving my wedding dress for the future. Eventually I hope my daughter would like to wear it.

That's why I can't even fathom doing this.

I can understand the 'thrill' some brides might get out of wearing the dress again, but I would cherish the memories much more, knowing that someday, someone very special to me could wear my dress as her something old.

I would have loved to have worn my Mom's dress, but back when Joy and I were skinny teenagers, neither of us even came close to fitting into it. Then I hit puberty and my hips got way bigger, so even if I lost half my body weight, I doubt I could fit into it.

I've decided that I think making my own bouquets would be more satisfying than having them done. I plan to buy a dozen roses to play with, and then will see how easy or difficult it might be.

I'll post pictures, too. : )

Time for something new

I am going to try something, see how long it lasts, how well I keep up with it.

I started a photo blog.

I am going to TRY to post 5 times a week, minimum, and I can guarantee that will last at least a week.

No idea if I will be able to continue that trend as we move, I start working (already lined up a job to start right after the wedding - same place I was at before...) and other things start happening...

But I do solemnly swear I will try.
___

We went to the registries office on Thursday, and are now officially allowed to get married!

We have our DO NOT BEND Marriage License, and to me, this is HUGE. It makes it feel way more real, and the fact that today, there is 54 days left to the wedding, is sinking in.

Still don't have a florist. Might just have to go to Safeway on the day before and grab a few dozen roses! (Might be cool to see what they have...)

Still going to try to talk to a florist, but I know that if push comes to shove, I've got options. (And I know I would be happy with whatever I find, anyway. I haven't got any set idea of what I want for flowers, aside from colour preferences.)
__

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! To all the Father's out there, hope you don't have to do any parenting today. :)
__

If anyone knows of anyone who hasn't booked their rooms for the wedding yet, tell them that they have until the 23rd. On the 24th, the reserved rooms will be released and it will become impossible to find rooms in Jasper.

I can't wait. I've started to dream about the wedding!!! (All good.)

:D

My MEME

My MEME
Originally uploaded by theanykey

Because I love meme's and this is a great one!


The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image (like Ada, I checked the 'most relevant,' 'most recent' and 'most interesting' pages to see what I liked best).
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker (if you click my results image below, it'll take you to the Flickr page & the link to the mosaic maker is there).

The questions that inspire the photos:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

Keeping in mind that I couldn't think of a specific celebrity crush, and the wine picture is actually from a search for Aaron Eckhart.

At the bunk house

At the bunk house
Originally uploaded by theanykey

I may or may not have been on a train, and may or may not have taken this photo.

I admit nothing.

: )

Went for a drive with Chris, around Edson, led all the way through back roads and ended up in Hinton. It was a beautiful drive, even with the eleven or twelve storms we drove through or past in the whole day. We stopped a few times to take pictures, check out a few things, and the picture was one of the cooler things.

The picture is taken from inside the cab of the train. Facing out from the chair / desk area for the Conductor (left side). The Engineer gets to sit on the right side, and there's a ton of buttons and switches and levers. No wonder they go through all of that training.

There's more to driving trains than just forward and reverse. Like a tool, the person who took the photos didn't get any pics of the engineers side, or the cab, really. It may or may not have been me.

Either way, I uploaded a ton of new photos on my flickr page. (Link on the right).
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I went for my first dress fitting last week in EDM, and am even more excited now that I see how well it is going to fit me... : )

AND, the jewelry I got to go with it look like it was MEANT to go with the dress, so that just made the whole trip that much better!
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Apparently while I was in Edmonton for the day (not even a full 12 hours gone), Marley made a huge fuss and was acting panicky and Chris brought her outside. As I was told by Chris, she dragged him straight towards the front curb, and walked up and down the sidewalk, looking for my car, whining.

Such a sweetie. She's really smart sometimes, and surprises us with very blond 'moments' sometimes.

Right now she's digging up a blanket, on a chair, trying to make it more comfortable, and almost fell off. Oh yeah, real smart. Real blond.
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We got the apartment set up great last month, unpacked a lot of stuff, and now, we are probably moving back to H-town. The Mountain town.

And we're moving right before the wedding.

Right after the shower, in Cold Lake.

So, yeah. I'll be distracted right up until the wedding. That should help with the stress!

Anyone want to help us move? We have much less stuff this time.

; )

Just kidding. We're probably good. As long as The Moving Company is better this time around.

Oh, god, I hope the MC is better this time.

...
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Dad's b-day party was awesome. I had a great time in CL, usually I go home more stressed out than when I arrived, but not this time.

(Thanks, Mom!)

The hot tub was great, and even though I used no sunscreen, I didn't get burnt at all after being in it for a few hours two days in a row.

And then, totally not thinking, on my last day, I went outside into the noon sun wearing a short sleeved shirt, helped Dad sort some bottles and stuff, and burned my arms, neck, face, and chest.

And then the drive home the next day, the sun was beating down on my arm the whole way home, and felt like it was against a hot griddle. I ended up covering my arm with my jacket, even though the car was HOT...

Oh, well. I put lotion on the burns every time they itched*, and it didn't even do the peeling thing. Now I have a nice colour on most of my arms, but it is still a pretty bad farmer's tan. And very noticeable when I am wearing my wedding dress. Going to have to figure out a way to fix this. : )

*6 or 7 times a day
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Everyone remember what happened to Pookie? Almost had a repeat in CL.

Joy and I went out the Saturday I was in Cold Lake, went to get a couple of bottles of wine...

When I got back I heard that Marley had run out of the front door while some guests were arriving (exactly why I tried to lock her in the bedroom). She almost got hit by a truck, and some people ran after her, and she ran back to the house after the guy driving the truck honked the horn.

I was kind of in shock after I was told by Dad, and I was glad there wasn't very many people around me, because it took everything I had not to break down.

All of the same feelings that I felt when Pookie was killed came rushing back, and I managed to hold it together enough to get downstairs with Marley.

I called Chris, and once it started ringing, I lost it. I barely managed to tell Chris what happened, and eventually, I calmed down enough to go back upstairs.

Marley wasn't comfortable around the amount of strangers that were there, so I left her in the basement bedroom with the door closed. I went down a few times through the evening and she was sleeping on the pillow each time.

Later on after only a few people were still over, I brought Marley upstairs, and she still stayed really close to me, and then sneaked* back downstairs again anyway.

*Did you know "snuck" isn't a word?

I got a lot of comments on Marley's weight: she's terribly skinny.

We keep her food dish full, she eats like a cow, drinks plenty of fluids, and unless she has a full coat, her ribs are visible from 200 feet away. She looks like we don't feed her, and yet we feed her PLENTY.

(VERY rarely she gets a human food treat, but that's mostly limited to either special occasions when we have Really Good Food, or when we are in Cold Lake. Because it's hard not to feed Patches, and you have to feed Marley if you feed Patches.)

She was about 5 pounds when we got her, she's now about 8 to 8 and a half most days. (If she's just eaten a ton of food, then she's closer to 9.)

And even at 9 pounds, she looks like she needs to eat. I think her goal weight will be 11 lbs.

And unless we give her a ton of snausages, I doubt she'll reach it until she gets older.
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Oh, and after we move and get a good fence up in the front yard, we're going to think about getting her a friend...

:)

Marley has an attitude problem

In Cold Lake on Mom's couch, finally out of hiding.

Longer post and many more pictures coming soon to a blog( slash photo page) so near to you, it's this one!

: )
 
 

 
 

Thank the gawds for pills

that fix my dog.

Marley is feeling much better now, thanks to two daily doses of 62.5 mg of bioclav, a broad spectrum antibiotic.

Our vet bill was a lot more reasonable than I expected: $200. (Just shy of, actually, but I don't feel like looking up the exact amount.)

It cost $51 for the visit, and additional $51 just because it was an emergency call on the long weekend, about $20 for the pills, and the rest was a charge for an x-ray. We still are supposed to bring in a urine sample for them to test for a few things, mostly, I am guessing, crystallization, to see if she might be a risk for stones.

Because that would be fun.

The only reason we haven't is that it needs to be brought to them within 20 minutes (still warm, yum!) and Marley doesn't have a regular bathroom schedule at all. In fact, a lot of the time, we end up going out right before bed, and then in the morning, not at all. Usually it will be once or twice in the afternoon, depending on her last drink/meal.

Also, we got a sample on Sunday night, brought it in on tuesday morning (had it in the fridge in the meantime), and were told the 20 minute news. So, now I am not sure if I should clean out the previously sterile cup to bring it in, or if I should just use the paper cup I collect it in.

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We've finally gotten our house mostly box-free. There is still a few to go through, and some stuff piled on the second bed, most of which I need to cram into the car to bring to Cold Lake.

We've got a lot of stuff to get rid of, and there is apparently going to be a garage sale here same weekend I'm heading to Cold Lake, so the 'idea' of making any money off of it is out.

I'm actually hoping that the landlord will agree to take the stuff to the garage sale for me, I told her there is a lot of stuff that still is in great condition, we just don't need it anymore. I also told her that I don't want any money for it, that if someone else will be sitting there all day, and they can get anything for it, by all means. Or even, if the landlord or whoever is going to be garage sale-ing wants it, take it.

There's nothing in there worth very much to me, a couple of cheap laundry baskets (one was $1, the other half that.) filled with little things, some kitchen stuff, some organizing things, some pictures, an old TELUS phone (bought 6 years ago - still works, just switched to Rogers) and a lot of other random crap.

Anything that I've decided to part with that I can think of someone who might want it, I plan to offer it to them; I am fully into the freecycling thing going on around here, I just wish more people knew about it, or were interested in it. I didn't get any answers when I posted a bunch of stuff back in Hinton, and I posted it on both Hinton and Edson's ones.

Oh well, a lot of unwanted furniture went to the not-for-profit church organization in Hinton that took it all off of our hands for free, to give to people who really needed it.

We've downsized our collection of crap at least by half since moving here, and damn it feels good.

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I am good at Tetris, but I don't know how I can cram THAT MUCH STUFF into that limited space. Mind you, the car I am bringing is pretty darn big (boat, much) but Marley takes up the whole back seat. I am not kidding. It's mostly from spoiling her, and we need to get away from that, but at the same time, she doesn't travel that well yet. Much better than before, but still needs her comfort or she tries everything to get into my lap and cause an accident. Realized that over a year ago, and tried to do the seatbelt thing, but she HATES the seatbelt, and ends up twisting herself up so bad in it that her leg has no blood in it. She hasn't been in it since, but I might give it another go.

So, the backseat is usually her ridiculously large kennel (used to be Patches/Pookie's, and Marley sure loved the lived-in smells) facing (open) sideways so she can get into it from the seat next to it, and her bed next to it. I think her previous family may have locked her in a kennel when she was 'bad' or something, because if I put the cage front on the kennel, she won't go in it. She was also scared of the metal doors' movements when she brushed against it, but even with something immobilizing it, she is too scared of the kennel with the door on.

Besides, it took us about 4 months to convince her that her kennel was a safer, more secure, protective place than under the bed, and it's been awhile since she's gone under the bed. (She'd hit her back/head on the frame while military-crawling under the bed, and I worried what that might do to her in the long run. Her hips crack a lot as it is, and I didn't need another thing to worry about.)

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Chris went to work today, we found out today that he is being recalled to his home terminal, so YAY! He won’t have to go stay in Hinton to try to work in Jasper!

Plus he’s on the spare board, which means trips instead of the yard work, so more $$$!

So thankful right now. It was really nice to spend more time with him, especially when Marley and I are about to leave for 4 nights. :)

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Last but definitely not least:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

I love you more than you'll ever know, and hope that you have a great birthday! Can't wait to see you! :D

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Anyway, I have to go figure out how to cram all of my stuff into the car, and plan to do most of it today so I have less to do tomorrow before I leave.

Have a great weekend!